Chapter 324: Hosting

Yan Huaiwen, listening from inside the room to the increasingly rowdy commotion outside, finally stepped out and called for Xiao Er from the courtyard.

“Xiao Er, go keep an eye on your father. Tell him to drink less.”

It wasn’t appropriate for him to intervene directly, but Xiao Er could do so without issue.

Yan Yu, on her uncle’s orders, headed over. She had just slipped into the kitchen when she heard her father reciting passages of text, some correct, some utter nonsense he was making up on the spot—utterly hilarious. That alone would have been fine, but he even started critiquing the words of the sages^[1]…

It was a good thing her uncle hadn’t come closer, or her father would really be in for it.

“…Guess what happened next? I just did a ‘dry land plucking onion^[2]‘, yanked the person right out. Close call, such a close call! Otherwise, whether our Constable Li could be sitting here all fine and dandy right now would be a whole other story…”

“…I ask you, how did she end up a widow, huh? She picked and chose, and in the end, she found herself a short-lived ghost. Look at this physique of mine…” One of the constables thumped his own chest, thumping so hard he started coughing. “Cough, cough! So sturdy!”

“…My cousin’s wife’s maternal aunt’s second cousin’s son, yeah, that kid who hawks rouge and powder door-to-door. Guess what? He actually climbed a high branch, married into an impressive family as a live-in son-in-law. Guess which family? Prince Ying’s manor! Our Prince’s household!… How is it not the same family? He signed a lifetime indenture^[3], a death pledge. Alive, he’s the Prince’s man; dead, he’s the Prince’s ghost, hic! A servant belongs to the Prince, so a servant’s family is the Prince’s family. It’s all the same, all the same! Sounds bad, marrying into a servant’s line, but the benefits on the inside are real, hic!”

“That turtle-egg^[4] bastard, he even swindled me out of two taels of silver before leaving. Two taels! Just because he’s from the Capital, he thinks he’s so precious? Wait till he comes next time. I’ll make sure he gets acquainted with my, Constable Li’s, fists! Peng-tou^[5]? I’ll make him ‘Peng-tou dog-face’!” Constable Li waved his fists around, waving until he made himself dizzy. He struggled to focus on the person in front of him, lunged forward, and grabbed him. “Brother Yan Er^[6], isn’t that how the saying goes?”

Yan Lao’er had only caught the tail end of that. He echoed, “Right, make him dog-face!”

Yan Yu was about to explode trying to hold in her laughter.

This bunch of constables, usually so proper and dignified—who would have thought they’d be like this when drunk?

“Yan Er!” one constable suddenly bellowed, startling even Yan Yu.

Several of the drunkards all turned to look at the source of the voice.

“Come on, let you and me have another one. Don’t you worry, your brother is my brother. If those grandsons from Gufeng dare to mess with our brother, just see if we don’t give them a good thrashing. Us folks from Crouching Tiger, wherever we go, we’re this…” He originally meant to give a thumbs-up, but lost his balance and landed squarely on his backside, causing tables and stools to clatter noisily.

The person next to him tried to pull him up, lost his own footing, and fell right on top of him.

Someone else from behind wobbled over and tumbled down on the pile…

Yan Yu could hardly bear to watch.

She hurriedly pulled her father further away.

Great strength was an advantage at a time like this. Yan Yu dodged left and right, half-dragging, half-tugging Yan Lao’er until she got him outside.

Someone was standing outside the door.

She looked up—who else could it be but her uncle.

Yan Yu didn’t know how much her uncle had heard, but she knew she couldn’t reveal her strength. She gave a light push, and Yan Lao’er stumbled uncontrollably forward.

Yan Huaiwen, his face dark, steadied the man. Recalling the words he had just overheard, his expression softened slightly.

Yan Lao’er: “Hic… Take good care of my brother. Cheers!”

Yan Huaiwen’s figure froze, and his entire demeanor visibly softened.

“Tianyou!” He tried to rouse him. “Come, let’s go wash your face.”

Yan Huaiwen guided him towards the water vat.

Yan Yu, quick-witted, ran ahead, scooped some water from the vat.

Yan Huaiwen supported his brother with one hand, dipped the fingers of his other hand in the water, then gently dabbed the droplets onto his brother’s forehead.

Yan Yu: …

Uncle, do you have to be so gentle?

It wasn’t the dead of winter either. The water was just a bit cool, not freezing.

Yan Huaiwen asked softly, “Tianyou, are you feeling unwell anywhere?”

She cupped some water and flung it straight at her father’s face.

“Dad! Wake up!” Yan Yu flung another handful of water.

This time the amount was a bit more substantial. Yan Lao’er’s dizzy mind slowly began to return.

He stiffly stood up on his own, bracing himself against the water vat.

With a pained expression, he said, “Brother, I’m fine.”

Yan Yu quickly said, “Dad, you should go back to your room and lie down. I’ll go find Uncle Qi and the others to help take care of Constable Li and the rest.”

Yan Huaiwen said, “Xiao Er, you go.”

He slowly let go, watching as Tianyou scooped water himself to wash his face, slapping his cheeks until they were bright red.

“Feeling better?”

Yan Lao’er pinched the bridge of his nose. “Much better. Big Brother, you should go back and rest.”

Yan Huaiwen wasn’t about to listen to him. He escorted him to his room, watched him lie down, and only then did he leave.

As soon as he was gone, Yan Lao’er bolted upright.

He gave Li Xuemei a huge fright.

“What are you doing? Lie down properly!”

She threw the pillow by her hand—her daughter’s pillow—at him.

“Where’s our daughter?” Yan Lao’er asked.

Li Xuemei: “She went to the Qi family to find people to help. Just how much did you all drink? Every single one of you is a complete mess.”

Yan Lao’er looked perfectly normal. He asked, “Did I say anything?”

“Not really. You don’t have a habit of talking nonsense when you drink,” Li Xuemei stated with certainty.

“Good.”

After uttering that word, Yan Lao’er fell back with a thud.

Closing his eyes and starting to snore happened in one seamless motion.

Yan Yu found people to carry all the constables to her elder brother’s room. Yan Xiangheng took his bedding to spend the night with his father.

These constables had duties in Gufeng tomorrow.

When they came today, they hadn’t planned on making the trip back. They would stay overnight at the Yan family and set off together with Yan Huaiwen tomorrow.

After seeing off the Qi uncles who came to help, Yan Yu went to clean up the kitchen.

Granny Rong and Big Sis Daya were very quick; they had already finished most of it.

Finally checking all the stoves in the house, Yan Yu returned to her room.

As soon as Li Xuemei saw her, she complained, “Look at your father. Afraid of talking nonsense when drunk, yet he still drinks so much.”

Yan Yu actually defended her father a bit. “It wasn’t that Dad wanted to drink. Constable Li and the others kept pouring for him. Dad couldn’t very well refuse.”

Li Xuemei sighed, looking at the snoring Yan Lao’er, and said quietly, “You’re right. We need to have your father earn an official rank.”

Yan Yu looked up, puzzled. How did the conversation get here?

“If he had an official rank, would people dare to force drink on him like that?” Li Xuemei said.

Yan Yu: “Mom, that’s two different things, isn’t it? Just because someone has an official title doesn’t mean they can’t get drunk. Look at all those famous literary figures in history—which one wasn’t a friend of the cup?”

Li Xuemei, however, remained clear-headed: “They’d still have some scruples. If it were someone else today—let’s not even talk about your uncle, just take Uncle Liang—if he were the one hosting, those constables wouldn’t dare act like that.”

“People in our village are simple and honest-hearted. Outsiders are different, especially these constables—their reputation isn’t exactly good. Your father only holds a nominal position. If he mixes with them, I’m afraid he’ll get the short end of the stick.”

“Them staying with your uncle in Gufeng tomorrow and lodging at our house is fine. But if we’re going to have dealings with them in the future, we need to be more cautious, especially your father. He looks clever but can be the most foolish one. Petty officials are slippery as oil. It’s best we keep them at arm’s length—not too close, not too distant.”

Yan Yu had to admit her mother made sense.

“When I went out to find someone earlier, Village Chief Grandpa even pulled me aside to ask what we served them, wanting to give us money.”

Li Xuemei said, “See? People in our village are upright.”

“When constables come to the countryside, the village pays for their meals. On the surface, those constables came for your father’s cooking, but if you look closely, it’s for official business.”

“Our family only put in one chicken. The fish and vegetables didn’t cost anything, and there wasn’t much offal either, so let’s not count that. If the village wants to pay, we’ll just accept the money for the chicken.”

Yan Yu agreed.

(End of Chapter)