Chapter 268: Seeking Divine Water

If the person was fake, then the so-called Divine Water couldn’t be real either.

Besides, how could there possibly be a Divine Water that cures all ailments in this world?

“It’s all just a scam,” Yan Lao’er muttered under his breath. “Those people making a fuss? All planted shills.”

Yan Yu chimed in, “Exactly. A paralyzed leg suddenly standing up again? Who’d believe such nonsense…”

“It’s all an act, just to swindle people out of their money. Look at that whole setup…” Yan Lao’er added, “But it’s not like there aren’t sharp-eyed folks around. Look over there, the ones watching coldly from the sidelines—they definitely know what’s going on. But this kind of thing… it’s tricky to speak up about.

If you go and expose it all at once, the fake Daoist will hate you, and the ones being duped might not even thank you for it.”

“It’s like popping someone’s beautiful dream with a pin,” Yan Yu summed up vividly.

“Exactly, exactly, that’s what I mean,” Yan Lao’er agreed.

He let out a sigh. “Who doesn’t wish Divine Water were real? Something that cures all diseases… If it really existed, just give it to the people suffering from the plague. Wouldn’t everyone be healed? Don’t tell me they don’t know there’s an epidemic going on in Guanzhou…”

Then, as if struck by a sudden thought, his eyes glazed over.

He muttered under his breath, “Divine Water… Divine Water…”

“Oh heavens above, if the righteous path doesn’t work, maybe it’s time to consider some crooked ways!” Yan Lao’er trembled with excitement.

He tried hard to suppress his enthusiasm. He didn’t want to look too eager—otherwise, how would he be any different from those gullible fools going crazy over the fake Daoist and his Divine Water?

But he really couldn’t hold it in.

“Dabao, we… we’re the ones who actually have Divine Water!” Yan Lao’er hinted with an exaggerated expression.

Yan Yu instantly caught onto her father’s wild idea.

It was a brilliant and absurdly clever plan!

She was completely in awe of her father’s quick thinking.

“Dad! You always say you’re not the sharpest, but I swear, you’re a genius!” Yan Yu’s eyes sparkled as she looked at him. “Forget righteous or crooked paths—if it catches mice, it’s a good cat!”

Yan Lao’er was already itching to refine his plan.

“Come on, let’s find a place to stay first.”

Father and daughter, dragging Sanbao along, broke through the crowd. The usually stingy Yan Lao’er didn’t even bother checking a few inns—he just charged straight into the nearest one and, in a rare moment of extravagance, booked an upper room.

And this so-called upper room really lived up to its name.

High floor, great ventilation, spacious interior. With the window wide open, they could look down and see everything around them.

Guiyuan Town didn’t have any tall buildings to block the view. A two-story inn stood tall among its peers, offering a sweeping panorama.

Yan Yu fiddled with a wooden stick to prop the window open.

She poked her little head out and peeked below.

“Dad, looks like they’re heading toward the seaside,” she said, watching the long procession moving steadily in that direction.

Just as he entered the room, Yan Lao’er carefully bolted the door.

“I just asked the inn boy. Floating Cloud Temple is holding a sea god ritual today. They’re giving thanks that the sea god didn’t throw a tantrum this year—no storms, no waves, everything peaceful.

They say it’s all thanks to that Daoist Floating Cloud from the temple. Supposedly, he met the sea god in a dream, and the two of them went on a spiritual journey together, arm in arm, had a great chat, and the sea god was so pleased he gave them a good year.” Yan Lao’er had only two words for this tale: “Yeah, right.”

Yan Yu laughed so hard she nearly knocked the stick out of the window frame.

“Arm in arm on a spiritual journey… Oh my god, I can’t even think about it, it’s killing me!” Yan Yu was struggling to hold back her laughter. “The sea god in folklore is always some dragon king or dragon deity, right? And that fake old man, arm in arm with a dragon… hahahaha… I can’t! Just imagine touching his arm and it’s all scales, then turning to see a dragon face—hahahahaha!”

“And if there’s a language barrier, it’d be even funnier!” Yan Yu’s face turned red from holding in her laughter, then she suddenly straightened up and, in a mock-serious tone, rattled off a string of English from her studies.

Yan Lao’er blinked in confusion. “What did you just say?”

“I said—‘Foolish human, you are an amusing creature. I shall visit your dreams often. If possible, could you toss some pig heads, goat heads, or cow heads into the sea? For one who dwells in the ocean, they are rare and delicious snacks…’ Hahahaha!”

Yan Yu burst into a honking laugh.

Yan Lao’er couldn’t take it either. What should have been a solemn matter—the sea god ritual—had been turned into a comedy by his daughter.

The procession gradually disappeared from view.

Yan Yu finally stopped laughing.

She asked, “Dad, how come you were willing to splurge on such an expensive room? It’s a whole silver tael!”

She was used to her father being tightfisted, so this sudden generosity was a bit jarring.

“We can’t pick up the goods until tomorrow. If we don’t stay at an inn, where would we sleep? The sea breeze here is harsh. If you sleep outside with no shelter, you’ll get sick.” Yan Lao’er’s heart ached for his daughter. They had no choice but to drift on the river before, but now that they had options, of course he’d choose a proper inn.

They were already being frugal—just one night in a decent room, at least to let his daughter relax a little.

“Besides, you don’t know what the lower rooms are like. No windows, poor ventilation, no hot water, no meals. Sure, they’re cheaper, but this upper room includes food, and we’ve got hot water right here. Do the math—it’s not that much more expensive.”

Yan Lao’er had an abacus in his head, and it was clicking away loud and clear.

Yan Yu was just as sharp when it came to numbers.

She did a quick mental calculation. “Then it’s actually a good deal. Does it include three meals or two?”

“Two. Dinner and breakfast,” Yan Lao’er replied.

“Alright then. Let’s ask the inn boy to bring more hot water. We can wash up a bit.” Yan Yu said.

No wonder they were father and daughter—they always thought alike.

“I already told him. He’ll bring it soon,” Yan Lao’er said.

“Dad, tell me more about your idea with the Divine Water,” Yan Yu said, looking at him expectantly.

“It’s simple. Just look at how crazy those people are over the Divine Water. That proves it’s believable. So later, we’ll say we got our Divine Water from this side, pour it straight into the rice soup in broad daylight, and let them scramble to drink it,” Yan Lao’er said smugly, clearly pleased with his brilliant idea.

“But we have to sell the act completely, Dad. We can’t leave any holes in the story,” Yan Yu reminded him. “If our medicine really works and everyone rushes to Floating Cloud Temple for Divine Water, aren’t we just helping those scammers?”

“I thought of that too,” Yan Lao’er said. “We can’t say we got it from Floating Cloud Temple, and we definitely can’t involve any immortals or deities. We’ll just say someone gave it to us. Maybe we met a reclusive master?”

Yan Yu nodded thoughtfully. “How about this, Dad? We say it’s talisman water—water infused with the ashes of a burned talisman. It’ll have a weird taste, which helps cover things up. And the talisman? We bought it from an old Daoist, and it was the only one he had.

“Later, if people try to bring us other talismans to make more, we just say they’re not the same. That way, no matter what they bring, we can deny it and block any chance of being scammed ourselves.”

Yan Lao’er slapped his thigh and shouted, “Perfect!”

He was about to say more when the inn’s waiter knocked on the door and called, “Sir, your hot water is here.”

Yan Lao’er opened the door and snatched the kettle at lightning speed, slamming the door shut and locking it again.

The waiter stood there stunned for a moment before scratching his head and walking off.

…

The father and daughter took this performance very seriously.

According to their ever-evolving script, they had to be just like the rest of the ignorant townsfolk in Changping and go beg Daoist Floating Cloud for Divine Water.

They couldn’t skip this step. Sure, there were no surveillance cameras in this world, but there were people.

And people were the best surveillance.

They were outsiders, unfamiliar faces. Every move they made stood out in the eyes of the locals in Guiyuan County.

So, after a quick tidy-up, the two of them rushed to the seaside.

The ritual was already underway.

Aside from Daoist Floating Cloud himself, the most eye-catching thing was the offering of the three sacrificial animals placed front and center.

The fake Daoist was waving a peach wood sword around in a completely erratic manner.

On the table before him lay several talisman papers. With a flick of his wrist, one of them burst into flames without any visible source of fire.

Yan Yu gave a fair assessment. “His moves are pretty smooth. I don’t see any obvious flaws.”

Yan Lao’er said, “You’d have to be somewhat skilled to dare run a scam like this.”

“When’s this ritual going to end?” Yan Yu was getting impatient. “So slow and drawn out. Can’t they just get it over with?”

“Almost done. Look, they’ve already thrown the offerings into the sea,” Yan Lao’er said, a little regretfully. “What a waste of three good animals.”

“Dad, someone’s asking for Divine Water. Let’s go too!” Yan Yu was raring to go.

Yan Lao’er looked and saw that she was right. He quickly said, “Let’s circle around from the side and find a good spot.”

A “good” spot, by their standards, meant one thing—visibility.

The father and daughter made a wide loop. Yan Yu grabbed her father’s hand with one hand and pushed aside the people blocking their way with the other.

She was small, nimble, and surprisingly strong. Dragging her father along, she charged through the crowd like a battering ram, quickly squeezing into the front row.

Now it was Yan Lao’er’s time to shine.

While everyone else knelt and begged, Yan Lao’er did no such thing. Why should he kneel to a con artist?

He lunged forward and grabbed the fake Daoist’s arm, his face filled with urgency and desperation.

“Master, Daoist Floating Cloud, there’s a plague spreading in Guanzhou! Please, I beg you, give me some Divine Water to take back and save those poor souls! You’re a merciful immortal, please help them!”

As soon as he mentioned Guanzhou and the plague, Daoist Floating Cloud instinctively wanted to kick him away.

What a joke.

That plague was terrifying. Who knew if this guy was infected? And now he was throwing himself at him?

But before he could react, a sharp childlike voice rang out.

“Merciful Immortal, please help us! Our hearts are sincere, truly sincere! If we drink that Divine Water, all our illnesses will vanish! We’ll even enshrine a Daoist Venerable tablet for you!”

The Yan father and daughter had come prepared.

They’d done their homework on Floating Cloud Temple, especially the Divine Water.

Supposedly, the Divine Water didn’t work for just anyone. It only worked if your heart was sincere—sincerity was the key.

Floating Cloud Temple didn’t sell the Divine Water either. You had to beg the Daoist to bestow it.

If you were moved by his grace, you could go to the temple and request a Daoist Venerable spirit tablet to take home and worship.

Once you took that spirit tablet, it wasn’t a one-time deal. Every festival, birthday, and Daoist holiday, whenever the temple called, you had to show up—with people, with money.

More devoted than the most filial child.

The father and daughter had summed it up nicely: these were long-term scammers who played the long game.

As for the whole “sincerity brings results” thing? Total nonsense.

If it didn’t work, they’d say your heart wasn’t sincere. If it did, they’d praise the power of the Divine Water.

In short, they held all the cards. All explanations belonged to Floating Cloud Temple.

Daoist Floating Cloud cleared his throat and corrected her, “Not a longevity tablet. A Daoist Venerable spirit tablet.”

Yan Yu nodded eagerly. “Right, a spirit tablet. We’ll enshrine a Daoist Venerable spirit tablet.”

“What the heck are you giving us that for?!”

“Hurry up and reject us already! We’ve got another stop to make.”

Divine Water wasn’t something easily given.

Otherwise, why would all those people be kneeling and begging, trailing the Daoist from the town all the way to the coast?

“Since you’ve asked so sincerely, very well. This Divine Water, I shall grant it to you.”

Daoist Floating Cloud extended his hand, and the young Daoist beside him respectfully passed over a pale green porcelain bottle.

Yan Lao’er was so shocked he nearly dropped it.

Even Yan Yu hadn’t expected that they’d actually get the Divine Water just by asking.

Holding the bottle in a daze, Yan Lao’er felt like he was floating.

It wasn’t according to plan, but at least he knew to show some gratitude.

“Many thanks, Daoist. You rescue the suffering and bring salvation. Boundless merit to you.”

Yan Yu had no choice but to put on a sincere face and chime in loudly, “Immortal master, you save those in need. Your virtue is immeasurable!”

Daoist Floating Cloud maintained the air of a reclusive sage, replying calmly, “Sincerity brings results.”

Seeing the two of them receive the Divine Water, the surrounding crowd grew even more excited than they were.

Some praised their luck, others praised Daoist Floating Cloud’s compassion. Still others rushed forward to try their luck, hoping they too might be granted a bottle of Divine Water.

The two of them finally squeezed their way out of the crowd and didn’t dare linger. They hurried back to the inn.

“What now? This wasn’t part of the plan,” Yan Lao’er said, staring at the porcelain bottle on the table. He poked it with a finger, examined it from every angle, then gave it a gentle shake. Hearing the liquid slosh inside, he finally set it down.

“No idea what kind of water is in here, but I’ve gotta say, this bottle is pretty fancy. That con artist really went all out. I wonder how much silver this could fetch.” He silently appraised the bottle in his mind.

Not a bad haul. A bottle this exquisite could probably sell for at least a tael. That’d cover their lodging expenses, wouldn’t it?

Yan Yu frowned, her little face scrunched in thought.

“Having the bottle makes it easier to convince people and get them to drink the Divine Water without hesitation. But if our medicine actually works, wouldn’t that just boost Floating Cloud Temple’s reputation?”

“That fake old man already said it—sincerity brings results. If people go to Floating Cloud Temple later, drink the water, and it doesn’t work, then it’s just because they weren’t sincere enough,” Yan Lao’er said casually.

Yan Yu’s eyes lit up like someone had flipped a switch.

“You’re right, Dad! Divine Water doesn’t cost anything. Floating Cloud Temple isn’t scamming people for money up front—they’re after long-term offerings. Anyone who wants to beg for it can go beg. If it doesn’t work, people will stop going. And once word spreads that Divine Water is useless, Floating Cloud Temple’s reputation will tank. Public opinion is a powerful thing. If everyone says Divine Water is a sham, then it’s no longer Divine Water, is it?!”

Yan Lao’er burst out laughing. “Exactly! If the Divine Water doesn’t work, Floating Cloud Temple won’t be able to scam anyone again. Greedy bastards, not satisfied with one big score—they want people to worship them for life. Let’s see what they do when no one believes in their Divine Water anymore!”

…

Early the next morning, the Yan father and daughter ate the inn’s complimentary breakfast.

Two bowls of thin porridge, a plate of pickled vegetables, two eggs, and two flatbreads.

They felt refreshed and energized.

Free food, no matter how it tastes, always has one flavor—delicious.

Yan Lao’er went from pharmacy to pharmacy to inspect the goods and pay the remaining balance.

Yan Yu stood out on the street, keeping an eye on the carts and workers loading the goods.

Once Yan Lao’er had sorted everything out, the carts carrying their medicinal herbs finally began to move.

Since he couldn’t haggle down the prices, Yan Lao’er negotiated for free delivery instead.

They had the goods delivered to a spot near the coast outside the town, close to where their raft was hidden.

They didn’t let anyone see the raft, just in case it caused a commotion.

Then again, using a raft to transport this much cargo was definitely a first.

The delivery workers assumed they were meeting a boat nearby.

They had no objections when Yan Lao’er told them to unload the goods there.

Once the workers were gone, the father and daughter signaled Sanbao to bring out the hidden raft. The three of them began loading it, sack by sack.

(End of Chapter)