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Chapter 317: Riding a Donkey Across Ten Thousand Miles of Rivers and Mountains

“I want them all, I want them all.” He was practically drooling.

As he nodded vigorously, his hat fell off with a soft clack.

A tender pink scar was revealed on his forehead. Although it looked like it was nearly healed, its length was somewhat terrifying, stretching from his eyebrow all the way up.

Likely because the wound needed treatment, a significant portion of his front hair had been shaved, making the scar even more prominent.

“Uncle, are you hurt?” Yan Yu’s gaze lingered on that conspicuous wound, the smile on her face gradually fading.

“Oh, it’s nothing, just a minor injury. Didn’t even hit the bone.” He hurriedly picked up the hat and put it back on properly.

Seeing the little sister across the screen looking at him with concern, his heart warmed, and his smile widened a bit. He explained nonchalantly, “I told you not to call me Uncle, call me Big Brother. I’m in the prime of my youth. We’re having a large-scale conscription, so they’re recruiting hot-blooded young men like your Big Brother.”

“This little scratch really isn’t anything. If you’d seen me half a month later, you probably wouldn’t even see the scar.”

“Don’t worry about me. Serving in the military is very common here; everyone has to go through it. With my scores in the reserve training, the active combat units would have to be blind to want me. Besides, I have a specialty in mechanical maintenance; I’ll most likely be assigned to a logistics unit.”

“Actually, I was a bit worried before—what if they really were blind? Haha! But who knew my luck would be this good? I actually reconnected with you, little sister! Heaven never seals off all paths¹! I’ll get some good stuff to bribe that guy selecting soldiers for the logistics unit, and then this matter will be set in stone!”

Yan Yu watched the man’s forced cheerfulness. Not wanting to dampen his spirits, she could only play along and act as if nothing was wrong.

“That’s a coincidence then. I was just about to trade some things with you. Give me one Divine Speed Donkey—one that can climb mountains, cross water, carry cargo, and carry people. And give me… three of those dogs that are cold-resistant, heat-resistant, and can adapt to all kinds of extreme weather!”

She had originally intended to say two, but thinking about the man going off to join the army, she added one more.

One for Sister Yu, one for her brother, and the last one for herself. She really wanted one too, okay? Even if she couldn’t use it right now, she’d trade for it first and worry later.

“What’s a Divine Speed Donkey?” the man asked, puzzled.

Yan Yu: “The kind that runs so fast it goes whoosh.”

The man: “…”

“Sister, let’s be realistic, okay? If I really set the speed to whoosh, believe it or not, you wouldn’t even be able to hold the rope. The wind resistance would be too strong; one gust and you’d be slapped right onto the ground…”

Yan Yu: “…”

Suddenly, a rhythmic beat started playing in her head!

“And you’d face the crisis of premature balding.”

The man across the screen looked exceptionally solemn.

Yan Yu quickly covered her hair. Forgive her; she had been presumptuous.

“I just want a donkey that can work hard and run fast,” she said honestly.

“This finished donkey meets your requirements. Stop being picky and hurry up and tell me what kind of dogs you want. We don’t have much time.”

Yan Yu quickly rattled off her requirements for the dogs like a machine gun.

She said it all in one breath without a single pause.

Heaven knows how many times she had rehearsed this in her mind.

“The dogs can be done. I happen to have a few mechanical beasts here that are very, very fast. One donkey for one trade, then get me some more water—a large amount of water.”

Yan Yu saw the man operating two virtual keyboards simultaneously with both hands, typing away incessantly. His fingers moved so fast they left afterimages. Truly the hand speed of someone who had been single for decades²; it was a dizzying sight.

His mouth didn’t stop either: “Make sure to bring all that food you mentioned earlier. I don’t need anything else for now. If things go fast, I’ll be leaving in a week; if slow, a month.

“With me not at home, I’m really not at ease leaving so much food behind. No, I have to take this time to digest as much as possible. Just in case… ptui ptui ptui[^3]! There is no ‘just in case,’ but if it really ends up in some dog’s stomach, it might as well go into mine!”

What kind of talk was that!

Yan Yu decided to forgive the man’s incoherence.

She could tell he was very nervous.

As soon as the two finished trading the donkey, Yan Yu hurriedly activated it via voice command:

“Million Volts—Pika-Donkey⁴!”

The donkey gazed at her with a gentle look.

Yan Yu spoke at lightning speed: “I am Ash.”

The donkey looked at her for five seconds, then nodded.

Yan Lao’er stood there dumbfounded.

He was in awe of this “Uncle” his daughter spoke of.

He knew this anime.

“What about me? What am I?” Yan Lao’er had to admit, he was quite curious.

“This is my Dad.”

The donkey did not nod, nor did it show any reaction.

“Dad, this donkey only has one binding authorization,” Yan Yu explained to her father.

On the other side, the busy man was still rambling: “This is a donkey loyal to its master. You can ride it with peace of mind. The parameters I set for it back then were quite sophisticated; the details are very well-done. If you find someone eyesore, just have the donkey turn its back to them. Do you know how to snap your fingers? It’ll kick as many times as you snap. If you can snap continuously, believe it or not, it can pull off a chain-kick!”

Yan Yu: Since you put it that way, I have to believe it!

“Dad, get on. Let’s go to the river.”

The river water near the village was clean enough to drink directly; it was crystal clear. Trading it through the Platform also included a disinfection function. She would go directly there to trade to save the trouble of hauling water back and forth.

Yan Yu didn’t forget the large crate packed with food.

Fortunately, this was no ordinary donkey. When she placed the wooden crate on the donkey’s head, the donkey didn’t mind at all.

She held it with both hands, and the donkey began to run, both fast and steady.

Accompanied by the sound of the wind and the chirping of insects was the man’s constant chatter: “Except for you, this donkey has a bit of a temper with everyone else. So if you’re not around, it’s best to put it in ‘escort mode’ for other smart machines.

“Didn’t you want to run faster? I made some adjustments to the original base, but you’d better take it easy. Only let it loose when no one is around; be careful when there are people.”

“Speaking of that, I remembered something,” Yan Yu asked. “Can they network with each other? Like sending messages back and forth?”

“Of course! They’re all under your name, so they definitely have an interactive system installed. Otherwise, they wouldn’t recognize each other and things would get messy,” the man said casually.

Yan Yu gave an “oh.” So that was how it was.

“Other functions are basically the same as the ox, but regarding load capacity, as I said before, it’s higher than a normal donkey but definitely not as high as a mechanical ox.

“Wait, why is the donkey you traded back still bald? Forget it, doesn’t interfere with eating the meat. Don’t worry, its Bionic Skin can self-repair. It might take some time, so don’t be anxious; let it grow back slowly.”

“Uncle, when you go to the army, how long will you be gone?” Yan Yu couldn’t help but ask with a hint of worry.

“Depends. If there’s no war, about a year. It’s mainly training. The army doesn’t keep idle people; if they don’t need us, they’ll definitely let us come back to fend for ourselves.

“If something happens, it’s hard to say. It could be many years.

“I have to go. This is a path every adult man must take.

“It’s not without benefits, though.

“The environment where I live now is poor and heavily polluted. To live somewhere better, I’d need to move to at least before District 70.

“After I finish my service, I’ll be able to move.

“I think District 66⁵ is pretty good. That number is so lucky, don’t you think, little sister?”

Author Notes:

Actually, I only wanted to trade for the donkey, as that was planned long ago~

But I couldn’t help it; I felt having a dog would be great too, so I changed 2 to 3, keeping one as a spare (▽)

Translator’s Notes