Chapter 3: What Delicious Food Did My Good Daughter Eat? Let Me Have a Taste Too!

Inside Lizheng Hall, the atmosphere was suffocatingly tense.

Outside the hall knelt a row of supervising eunuchs from the Bureau of Culinary Service, their heads pressed against the floor tiles, trembling like chaff in a sieve.

Inside the hall, Li Shimin paced back and forth with his hands clasped behind him, his boots thudding heavily against the floor.

Empress Zhangsun sat by the daybed, tightly furrowing her brows as she held a bowl of Mutton Soup that had gone stone cold. Her health was frail to begin with, and after worrying over Xiao Sizi’s lack of appetite for the past few days, dark circles had bruised the skin beneath her eyes.

“A bunch of useless trash!”

Li Shimin halted abruptly, pointing outside the hall as he barked, “What use do I have feeding a pack of good-for-nothings like you? Princess Jinyang hasn’t eaten a proper meal in three days, and what is this garbage you brought? The mutton’s rank smell can be picked up three Li away! Forget a child, even I feel sick just smelling it!”

The Imperial Food Service Director lowered his head even further, cold sweat pouring from his forehead, not daring to utter a single word of defense.

Meat in this era was mostly limited to mutton or venison, prepared simply by steaming, boiling, or roasting.

Suppressing the gamey odor relied entirely on overpowering it with dogwood^[1] and Sichuan pepper, but masking the gaminess only made the odd taste stronger, something a young child’s sensitive palate could never stomach.

“Erlang^[2], calm your anger.”

Empress Zhangsun set down the bowl and gently reasoned, “Sizi hasn’t been feeling well these past few days. The imperial physicians already said her spleen and stomach^[3] are weak. We cannot blame the imperial chefs.”

“That is because they are incompetent!”

Li Shimin’s chest heaved. “I possess the entire realm, yet I cannot even ensure my own daughter eats a full meal?”

Just as he was speaking, a small head peeked in through the hall doors.

Li Shimin, who a moment ago was furious enough to execute someone, instantly cleared the dark clouds from his face, replaced them with a doting fatherly smile, and hurried over to greet her.

“Sizi, you’re back? Where did you run off to? You made Daddy search everywhere.”

Xiao Sizi clasped her hands behind her back and stepped over the threshold with her two stubby little legs.

Unlike her usual listless self, she was glowing with health, practically strutting, and even let out a contented burp.

“Burp~“

The sound was loud and crisp.

Li Shimin’s hands, outstretched to pick up the child, froze midair.

Empress Zhangsun froze in surprise as well.

For days, Xiao Sizi had been so hungry she lacked even the energy to speak, so how had a brief stroll outside completely restored her vitality?

Li Shimin scooped up his little daughter and bounced her on his knee. She felt ever so slightly heavier. His large hand moved down to feel her little tummy.

Good heavens, it was round and firm. Had she stuffed herself?

“Sizi, did you… eat something?” Li Shimin probed.

Warning bells went off in Xiao Sizi’s mind.

The handsome big bwother had said that if Daddy found out, there would be no more yummy food to eat!

She shook her head like a rattle drum at once, clamping both little hands over her mouth as she mumbled indistinctly, “I didn’t eat! I don’t know anyfing!”

Li Shimin narrowed his eyes.

Something was not right!

The girl usually blushed whenever she told a lie, but today, she might as well have written “I’m guilty” across her forehead.

He leaned closer, his nostrils twitching slightly.

The usual faint herbal scent was gone, replaced instead by an exceptionally fresh, fruity aroma.

It was somewhat like the pomelos sent as tribute from Lingnan, but sweeter, crisper, and mingled with a faint trace of… savory oil?

“What is this?”

Sharp-eyed, Li Shimin reached out and gently pinched something from the corner of Xiao Sizi’s mouth.

A golden-yellow grain rested on his fingertip.

A grain of rice.

Yet this grain of rice was nothing like the ones served in the palace.

It was golden from end to end, coated in a thin, lightly crisped shell, and in the sunlight streaming through the latticed window, it seemed to genuinely glow.

“I… I…” Staring at the incriminating evidence, Xiao Sizi rolled her big eyes around and had a sudden stroke of inspiration. “Dis is… dis is a buggie!”

Empress Zhangsun could not hold back and burst into a soft laugh.

Caught between laughter and tears, Li Shimin brought the “buggie” to his nose and took a whiff.

A rich aroma of egg mingled with the savory crispness of rendered oil, and even from just a single grain, the scent boldly invaded his nostrils.

Gulp!

Li Shimin’s Adam’s apple bobbed traitorously.

Was he, the Son of Heaven of the Great Tang, actually salivating over a single grain of rice?

“Well, well, daring to lie to Daddy now, are you?”

Li Shimin deliberately put on a stern face, lightly tapping Xiao Sizi’s nose with his finger. “Tell the truth: where did you sneak off to eat? If you don’t tell me, your father will have all those old men from the Bureau of Culinary Service beheaded right now.”

At the mention of beheadings, Xiao Sizi’s little face turned pale with fright.

The handsome big bwother was fierce, but his food was so yummy, she couldn’t get him into trouble!

“No chopping!”

Xiao Sizi squirmed anxiously in Li Shimin’s embrace. In her panic, the lisp through her missing teeth grew even worse: “I weally didn’t go to the woodshed! I didn’t look for the handsome big bwother either! Dat golden wice wasn’t yummy at all! And I didn’t dwink the sweet water!”

Li Shimin: “…”

Empress Zhangsun: “…”

Case closed!

Location: The woodshed.

Suspect: A handsome older brother.

Tools of the crime: Golden rice, sweet water.

The muscles in Li Shimin’s face twitched twice.

Where in the inner imperial palace would there be a woodshed? Only the scrap pile in the backyard of the Imperial Kitchen fit the description. Could someone actually live there? A handsome older brother, no less?

In this palace, aside from the imperial princes, the only men around were eunuchs and guards. Could a eunuch be called an older brother? Would a guard dare to cook food in the inner palace?

“The woodshed…”

Li Shimin turned the words over in his mouth, his expression darkening. “Men! Go to the backyard of the Imperial Kitchen and see what sort of monster is hiding there, daring to feed the princess food of unknown origin!”

Hearing that they were going to capture someone, Xiao Sizi let out a wail, on the verge of tears.

She dug frantically inside her robe, trying desperately to hide her last bit of treasure deeper.

In her flustered panic, however, a small oilpaper packet slipped from her collar and landed on the floor with a soft slap.

The oilpaper wrapper came undone.

A fist-sized rice ball rolled out.

Though the rice ball had cooled, it still retained its alluring golden-yellow hue, flecked with chopped scallions that were charmingly emerald green.

The aroma that had been trapped inside the oilpaper could no longer be contained. Like a long-dormant volcano erupting, it instantly filled every corner of Lizheng Hall^[4]!

The Imperial Kitchen supervisors, who had been kowtowing on the ground, twitched their noses one by one and raised their heads in utter shock.

This aroma…

It was simply overpowering!

Even if you combined all the spices in the Imperial Kitchen, it wouldn’t be half as enticing as this!

Li Shimin bent down and picked up the rice ball.

It felt slightly warm in his hand, glossy with oil yet not greasy to the touch.

“What is this?” Li Shimin frowned deeply.

Seeing her treasure confiscated, Xiao Sizi forgot all about keeping it a secret. Reaching out her tiny hands to snatch it back, she cried, “Give it back to me! Handsome big bwother gave dat to me! Sizi hasn’t had enough yet!”

Ignoring his daughter’s protests, Li Shimin brought the rice ball closer for a look.

Finely diced meat was mixed inside.

It wasn’t mutton; it lacked that dark red hue.

It looked more like… pork?

That was lowly meat^[5]!

Only coolies building the Great Wall and farmers in the fields ate that stuff.

It was foul, gamey, and impossible to swallow.

Someone actually dared to feed pork to the most noble princess of the Great Tang?

Furious, Li Shimin was just about to lose his temper and toss it away.

Yet the aroma was simply too bewitching.

It forced its way into his nostrils with utter disregard, making his mouth water profusely. Having been in morning court until now, he was also starving, his stomach pressed against his spine.

Driven by some inexplicable impulse.

Instead of throwing the rice ball away, Li Shimin hesitated, opened his mouth, and took a small bite of the golden rice ball.

“Erlang, don’t!” Empress Zhangsun cried out in alarm, but it was already too late to stop him.

Li Shimin chewed once.

The hall instantly fell so quiet that one could hear a pin drop.

Everyone stared at the supreme ruler of the Great Tang, waiting for his thunderous fury and for him to spit out the filthy thing.

Yet…

Li Shimin froze!

There was none of the expected gaminess, nor any coarse texture.

The moment his teeth cut into the grains of rice and diced meat, an intensely rich aroma of savory meat, blended with the thrilling burst of fat, rampaged across his palate!

This was pork?

How could this possibly be pork?!

The cracklings rendered from pork leaf fat were crispy yet chewy, growing more fragrant with every chew.

Saturated with egg and rich lard, every single grain of rice was springy and firm to the bite!

That touch of bright green scallions was a stroke of genius, instantly cutting through all the richness and leaving behind a lingering aroma in his mouth!

Li Shimin’s eyes went wide, his jaws involuntarily chewing faster and faster.

Gulp!

He swallowed it down.

That sense of satisfaction slid all the way down his esophagus, warmly comforting his long-empty stomach.

“This…”

He had dined on delicacies from land and sea his entire life; what dragon liver or phoenix marrow^[6] had he not seen?

Yet just now, a single mouthful of fried rice with lowly meat had conquered him completely?

“Erlang?” Empress Zhangsun called out worriedly upon seeing her husband’s strange expression. “Is it poisoned?”

“Poisoned… it is practically lethal!”

Li Shimin muttered under his breath. Then, beneath the horrified gazes of everyone present, completely disregarding all imperial dignity, he opened his mouth wide and shoved the remaining half of the rice ball straight in!

His cheeks puffed out high as he chewed voraciously.

So delicious!

It’s so damn good!

Just which divine chef made this? With this level of skill, calling them the God of Cookery^[7] descended to earth wouldn’t be an exaggeration!

Having finished the last bite, Li Shimin licked the glistening oil from his lips, still craving more. He felt that the Mutton Soup and dried venison from earlier were nothing more than fodder for livestock!