It’s Him – Ch21

Sun Ning

Li Xun roughly guessed the progress of the other party’s situation, occasionally checking in to remind her teacher that she was there and to prove her presence.

In response, the teacher replied, “You should prepare for the mock exam. I will report the school’s safety concerns to the principal, and we’ll arrange for you students to study at home during the evening self-study sessions.”

Li Xun did not get what she wanted and did not press further, as she had to attend class.

Teacher Sun still had another class in the afternoon, the second session.

After she finished the phone call, she started grading assignments. Initially, her hand was steady, but later it began to tremble.

She paused, and another teacher entered. Noticing her pale complexion, the teacher became concerned, “Teacher Sun, why is your face so pale? Are you feeling unwell?”

Sun Ning replied, “It’s nothing. I ate something wrong today.”

“You still have a class in the afternoon, right? Do you want to switch with us? You can take the class tomorrow morning instead?”

“I’m fine.”

The other teacher wasn’t an older one, but she sensed that Teacher Sun seemed very unsettled. It was hard to describe, but it was the first impression she had.

Indeed, Sun Ning was unsettled. Her senses felt lost, as if she didn’t know what to do. Responding to Li Xun had been purely instinctive.

As she walked out of the office, a breeze blew past her, and she had an urge to cry.

It seemed like for the first time, she found the school breeze, carrying the scent of flowers, very pleasant.

She had never noticed such things before.

She hadn’t caused the death of her student.

Finally, all the emotions slowly returned to her. The dead emotions gradually revived. She even felt somewhat unsure how to process it.

She still gave the class. So many things had already become ingrained in her bones. No matter how confused she felt inside, as long as she stood on the podium, as long as she looked at the students in the class, she would immediately enter a specific world, follow a set routine, and complete her task.

That night, she didn’t sleep at all. Her mind was filled with past events: that time when she insisted on correcting them, every word that Teacher Zhao said, that suicide note, the red paint, and the banners demanding retribution for murder.

Everything converged in her mind, finally forming a glaring red fire, suppressing her breath. It didn’t feel like a release, but rather a deeper suffocation.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. If Teacher Zhao hadn’t gone missing, she truly couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t just throw paint at this person without a care.

But after the anger, came confusion.

What could she do?

During the day, her first reaction was to call her mother.

She wanted to tell her.

“No, your daughter didn’t kill anyone.”

But in the end, she stopped herself, because knowing the truth wasn’t enough.

The truth didn’t just bring comfort.

They had finally managed to live a peaceful and quiet life. Now, if she told her, it felt like they would shatter that peace.

Back then, her parents had stayed up with her, and when her mom heard people talking about her in the market, she had to keep explaining that she didn’t want to force that child to death. The child came from a poor family and didn’t like studying. She just wanted to help him, but failed, and was so angry that she cried, not daring to let her daughter see it.

Her mother had shielded her from so much pain.

If she knew the truth—that she had been wronged and that justice might never be served—her mother would probably have a heart attack.

She didn’t want her mother to be involved again.

Sun Ning had already been through enough, and she had begun to understand certain things.

This matter was already settled. If she wanted to overturn it, it would mean destroying the peaceful life built by sacrificing her.

Would the students’ parents agree? Could they accept that their children had died just to seek revenge on a teacher?

Would the school agree? Bringing up old matters would cause enormous negative public opinion. Especially now, the investigation was heading toward a teacher allegedly murdering a student.

As for that roommate, despite admitting it in front of her, they did so knowing they wouldn’t have to face any consequences. If things blew up, would they be willing to face their past mistakes?

It seemed like she was the only one, if she remained still, everyone else would be the biggest beneficiaries.

She didn’t know who to tell or consult.

At that moment, her phone received another message from Li Xun.

“Teacher, I had a nightmare. I dreamt that I killed Teacher Zhao. There was so much blood. I’m a bit scared.”

“Do you think Teacher Zhao might not have gone missing? Maybe he’s just hiding because he’s afraid the police will find out what happened back then?”

She quickly tried to comfort her: “The police have been looking for so long and still haven’t found him. He might already be dead.”

“You have a mock exam tomorrow, so focus on your studies and don’t get distracted. Teacher Zhao’s case is being handled by other teachers.”

The reply came quickly: “After my mock exam, can I come see Teacher Sun?”

The message from the high school student felt full of sadness: “The students in my class all think Teacher Zhao was a really good teacher. I can’t tell them the truth. My mom is busy with something important, and I don’t want to trouble her. I feel like I’m holding it all in.”

In that moment, Teacher Sun felt as if she wanted to drop her middle-aged persona and cry along with the student.

They really were in the same situation.

But she held back. She was an adult and couldn’t fall apart. She still needed to be a pillar for this student.

“You can come to me anytime. Don’t feel like you’re bothering me. I’m really glad to help you.”

In Teacher Sun’s eyes, Li Xun’s most important label was still being a senior high school student, soon to take the college entrance exam.

She decided to report the matter to the police first and see what the authorities said. If they decided not to file a case, then she would think of other solutions.

——————————————

On the other side, Li Xun looked at the message.

Teacher Sun still hadn’t updated her on anything.

Li Xun felt like her anxiety was about to boil over. If she didn’t catch hold of Teacher Zhao’s vital clue, Zhao would grab hold of hers.

Though she was anxious, she wasn’t angry. She understood that, as a veteran teacher, many things were ingrained in Teacher Sun’s soul like a routine.

For example, the most important thing for seniors was studying, and keeping scary, bloody matters far away from students.

It was probably Li Xun’s gift that allowed her to sharply perceive the status of her relationships with others.

Li Xun had studied for two days for the mock exam. During this time, she also observed Teacher Sun. She felt that rather than being gentle, Teacher Sun kept a clear boundary between herself and the outside world, not letting emotions entangle everything together.

It seemed like the return of old matters made Teacher Sun look very haggard and sad. Li Xun noticed that she hadn’t managed to avoid a few playful students in the morning due to her bad health, and her breakfast spilled all over the place. The students were startled and quickly apologized. She just waved her hand and told them to hurry to class.

What seemed like a simple matter was, in fact, a very rare quality.

Li Xun observed that most people’s emotions followed a cumulative pattern.

For example, in Teacher Sun’s case, if this happened to an ordinary person, her emotions would have peaked once she discovered she had been wronged.

At that moment, if something minor went wrong, all her emotions would explode.

Especially for teachers, who had a position of authority, their emotions would become misaligned due to their power.

Their emotional outbursts, whatever they were—sadness or frustration—would often be expressed through anger, venting by hurting those lower in the power hierarchy.

But Teacher Sun didn’t do that. She remained patient with her students.

This was a rare and admirable quality.

Li Xun silently learned from it. She might need it in the future. If she encountered a similar situation, she would handle it like Teacher Sun.

This skill was a lethal weapon for someone like her who valued rationality.

Indeed, it was lethal. Li Xun felt a deeper sincerity toward Teacher Sun. Aside from her mother’s matter being fabricated, everything else was genuine.

She thought about how she could advance their relationship, making Teacher Sun see her as a partner, not just a student.