Chapter 93: The Republican-Era Young Lady Stops Making a Fuss 4 – Even If It Was Only Out of Guilt

Song Xuange woke from hunger. She lay on the bed with her eyes open, staring at the bed curtains she had used for so many years in her youth for quite a while before she finally remembered what year it was.

She hurriedly looked beside her, but no one was there.

She hastily put on her shoes and went out.

A maid with two braided pigtails was standing guard by the door.

This was Nanny Wen’s niece, Ruixin, who had already been working for the Song Family for several years.

Ruixin said, “Miss, you’re awake. Would you like to have breakfast in your room or in the dining room?”

“Where’s Mister?”

“Mister went out early this morning. Business has probably been busy lately. The study lamp was on all night last night.”

Song Xuange couldn’t remember what was going on with the family’s business at this time, so she asked Ruixin.

Ruixin said, “I don’t know either. Mister wouldn’t tell us about those things. But from what I saw, he didn’t look too well when he left this morning.”

Then she added, “Mister truly cherishes you, Miss. Even as busy as he is, before leaving he specially wrapped fresh wontons, picked out a handful of baby bok choy without a single wormhole, and even skimmed the fat from the chicken soup himself and left it warming in a clay pot on the stove. All so you’d have something to eat the moment you got up.”

Only when the master of the house was doing well could servants like them do well too.

They had all seen for themselves what sort of attitude their young mistress had toward Mister. The young master was still little, and the whole Song Family was being held up by Mister now.

If Miss and Mister were on bad terms, then people like them who worked there lived in constant anxiety too, afraid that one day Mister would finally snap after enduring Miss’s cold treatment, and take it out on the old servants who had been working for the Song Family all these years.

In these troubled times of war and unrest, finding a job you could keep for years was no easy thing.

Last night, Miss had been carried back in Mister’s arms. They had all seen it.

And the first thing Miss asked upon waking this morning was about Mister, which had never happened before.

Ruixin was delighted that Mister and Miss might reconcile, so naturally she spoke well of Mister in front of her young mistress.

Besides, none of it was false. Mister devoted himself to Miss in every matter.

Leaving aside the little maid’s private thoughts, after hearing those words, Song Xuange felt even hungrier.

“Then make me a bowl of wontons. Quickly. I’ll eat in the dining room.”

“Yes, Miss.”

The wontons were served in a six-inch porcelain bowl. There were only five or six in it, floating in clear chicken broth. A few bright green stalks of baby bok choy made it look delicious.

One bowl wasn’t enough at all.

“Ruixin, have Nanny Wen cook me another bowl.”

The chicken broth was wonderfully fresh, and the wontons were smooth and springy. On top of that, she was starving, so Song Xuange ate three bowls in a row before finally stopping.

While eating the third bowl, she asked Nanny Wen, “Why are the wontons in this bowl shaped differently from the first two?”

Nanny Wen stood nearby, watching her with concern. “My dear Miss, you normally only eat a tiny bit for breakfast. The amount Mister wrapped this morning was just enough for two bowls. This bowl was wrapped by me.”

So that was why.

Of course. Her appetite had always been small. If she was eating like this now, it had to be because of the child in her belly.

What a greedy little imp.

She wondered if she would get fat if she kept eating like this.

Even so, she still followed her heart and drank another bowl of soup.

Only then did she finally feel full.

“Where’s Pingkang?”

Nanny Wen said, “The young master is having the time of his life at a classmate’s house. A letter came this morning. Mister opened it and read it, and said the young master would be back in two more days.”

She vaguely remembered that this had indeed happened.

Her younger brother, Song Pingkang, was free during summer vacation. The elder sister of one of his childhood friends was getting married back in their family home in Suzhou, so he had gone along to the countryside to have some fun.

“Let me see the letter.”

Nanny Wen brought it over in both hands. It was very short, only one page, and what was written on it was exactly as Nanny Wen had said.

Still, Song Xuange could sense a trace of eagerness in it, eagerness to hurry through the letter saying he was safe so he could go back to playing. It was obvious he was having so much fun he didn’t want to come home.

After she finished reading it.

Nanny Wen said again, “After Mister read the letter, he already sent someone to Suzhou. Once the young master gets tired of playing, they’ll bring him back.”

He Dusheng had always handled things properly when it came to the siblings. Song Xuange had nothing to criticize.

She only shook her head and said, “When has he ever gotten tired of playing? He probably wishes he never had to come back at all.”

Song Xuange’s mother had been dearly cherished by her father all her life, and Father Song had never taken concubines or kept mistresses.

Compared to the households of other wealthy merchants, the Song Mansion could be called sparsely populated.

With Song Pingzhang and He Dusheng both away, Song Xuange found the house unusually empty.

But in the end, this was the place where she had grown up. It carried the happiest memories of the most carefree years of her life.

Song Xuange strolled through the courtyard, searching for traces of those memories.

Ruixin brought over a shawl and draped it over her shoulders.

“It’s already summer. What do I need a shawl for?”

Ruixin said, “Mister told me before he left. It’s exactly during this change between spring and summer, when it’s warm, that people catch colds easily. He told me to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re bundled up a bit more.”

Song Xuange couldn’t remember. Had the He Dusheng of the past been this nagging?

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Seeing Ruixin insist, she could only keep on the thin shawl. Fortunately, it didn’t feel hot.

She wandered around for a long while and didn’t head back inside until nearly noon.

As she passed the kitchen, she saw Nanny Wen scrubbing out an empty food carrier.

“What’s that for?”

Nanny Wen wiped her hands on her apron and stood properly before replying, “Miss, it’s for taking Mister’s lunch over at noon, to carry the dishes.”

“His lunch is always sent from home?”

“Yes. If there are other arrangements, A-Xiang lets the kitchen know in advance.”

She had never paid attention to these trivial things about him before.

At that moment, a thought crossed her mind, and she said, “Once it’s packed, I’ll bring it over myself and eat with him.”

A smile instantly spread across Nanny Wen’s face.

She answered brightly, “Ah, good, good, good. I’ll take care of it right away.”

It was said that Song Xuange was delivering it, but in reality she had only taken the car that delivered the lunch.

Even the food carrier was being carried by the driver.

Upstairs at the Fenglong Rice Shop, outside He Dusheng’s office, A-Xiang was standing guard by the door.

Before she even got close, Song Xuange heard that He Dusheng seemed to be scolding someone.

A-Xiang bowed to Song Xuange. “Madam.”

Then he took the food carrier from the driver’s hands and carried it himself.

He looked a little troubled.

Song Xuange didn’t mind. “It’s fine. I’ll wait a bit.”

A-Xiang didn’t dare really let her stand there waiting. He quickly brought over a chair, one with a soft cushion on it, and even served her tea.

Song Xuange simply sat there, listening to He Dusheng scold people inside. His voice was not loud or explosive. If anything, it was cold, and that was even more frightening than a fit of rage.

Someone pushed the door open and came out, then froze for a moment at the sight of someone still sitting in the corridor.

It was a shop manager Song Xuange also knew.

The manager was in his forties, yet He Dusheng’s scolding had left him drenched in cold sweat. He wiped his brow and greeted Song Xuange respectfully. She nodded back. The manager said nothing, likely feeling awkward, and quickly left.

Only then did A-Xiang step forward and knock on the door.

“Sir, lunch has been brought from home.”

“Get lost!”

A-Xiang groaned inwardly, but still said, “Madam sent it over.”

The moment the words left his mouth.

The man inside came striding out at once. “Did she come alone? Where is she now?”

“Right here.”

Song Xuange rose to her feet, and He Dusheng saw her.

His eyes curved instinctively, warmth and laughter appearing in them.

“Why did you come in person?”

He held out both hands, paused halfway in front of himself, then lowered them again.

Song Xuange quickly reached out and took them.

“I didn’t have anything to do anyway, so I came to eat with you.”

He Dusheng felt the soft warmth in his hands and curled his fingers tightly around hers.

He held out his other hand toward A-Xiang. “Give it to me.”

A-Xiang went to clear away the teacups in the corridor.

He Dusheng glanced at them.

Frowning, he instructed, “Take away this green tea, then brew some red date honey tea instead.”

“Yes, sir.”

A-Xiang withdrew.

He Dusheng set out the dishes himself.

Song Xuange asked him, “Has business not been going well lately?”

“You mean just now? Did it scare you? It’s nothing serious. Someone under me did something foolish, so I gave him a few words.”

“I slept too soundly last night and didn’t know, but Ruixin said this morning that the light in your study was on all night.”

Song Xuange was watching his eyes. There really were bloodshot streaks in them.

He Dusheng denied it. “Nothing like that. I probably just forgot to turn off the light in the study.”

He had always been the type to share good news and hide the bad. If he would not say anything, there was nothing she could do. She only resolved to ask the other shop managers about it later.

All of Song Xuange’s favorite dishes were set on her side of the table.

She had not felt hungry before, but the moment she saw the meal, she could practically feel her mouth watering. The three bowls of wontons she had eaten that morning seemed to have vanished into a bottomless pit.

She even urged him first, “Eat.”

Then she picked up her chopsticks.

She had eaten Nanny Wen’s cooking since childhood. And now, Nanny Wen cooked even more to suit her tastes alone. To Song Xuange, everything smelled irresistibly good.

Across from her, He Dusheng watched his wife eat with such sweet, absent-minded enjoyment that he sat there holding his bowl without moving his chopsticks.

Though they were husband and wife, they rarely sat at the same table for a meal like this.

Most mornings, by the time he left the house, she still had not gotten up. Even when they rose at around the same time, they still never quite ended up eating together.

For breakfast, he liked plain congee with pan-fried buns, or a bowl of noodle soup.

But his young lady, his wife, preferred toast and milk. Chicken soup wontons were the only Chinese-style breakfast he had ever seen her eat.

And in the evenings, although he tried his best to go home for dinner, his wife would either say she had already eaten or that she was dieting and would not be having dinner.

Even sharing a meal with his own wife had become a luxury to him, let alone having her personally bring food to him like today.

The scene felt unreal, enough to make him suspect that someone with ulterior motives had disguised herself as his wife to approach him on purpose.

But he knew that was not the case.

He knew every strand of his wife’s hair, every mole on her body, every little expression in the corners of her eyes and brows.

This was his wife, the girl he had secretly fallen in love with the moment he first saw her.

So was this her compensation now?

Then he thought again of the child she had killed, and his chest tightened with grief.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Song Xuange noticed that his bowl of rice was still full, untouched.

She picked up a piece of smoked fish and placed it in his bowl.

He Dusheng picked up the piece of fish, hid all his emotions, and smiled. “Watching you eat makes it seem delicious.”

“Nanny Wen’s cooking is good.”

Song Xuange smiled at him. “Your cooking is good too. I finished all the wontons you wrapped this morning.”

He Dusheng said, “I’ll make them for you again tomorrow.”

Then he added, “If you don’t get tired of eating them two days in a row.”

“Sure.” Song Xuange had already agreed.

“Just remember to make more. There wasn’t enough for me today.”

He Dusheng did not believe that. He only took it as her trying to cheer him up.

Then his mouth moved faster than his mind, and he said instinctively, “My fault.”

Seeing the way her brows and eyes curved, as though she was very happy.

He Dusheng put the smoked fish into his mouth, but all he could taste was salt. He could not taste any fragrance at all.

Forget it…

He did not care about the child, nor did he care whether she truly liked him. If she was willing to become a little closer to him from now on, even if it was only out of guilt and a desire to make amends, he would be satisfied.

He only hoped she would keep the abortion hidden from him forever.

Otherwise, how was he supposed to face her?

Feeling that he had finally sorted through the knots in his heart.

After finishing the meal like chewing wax, He Dusheng gathered up the bowls and plates, then took the initiative to clasp his wife’s fingertips. When she gave no reaction, he held a little more of her hand.

“Are you going back now, or will you wait a while and leave with me after I get off work?”