Chen Family

An Ruxin stood at the door of Chen Anran’s home, hesitated only briefly, and then knocked.

A small doubt lingered in her heart: after all these years, could the family have moved? If so, that would complicate things… But regardless, she still had to come and investigate.

Just as An Ruxin was deep in thought, the door opened. The woman who answered looked to be around fifty, maybe younger, but she seemed exhausted. Her hair was streaked with white, making her appear older than she probably was.

She paused when she saw An Ruxin. “Young lady, who are you looking for?”

An Ruxin felt a twinge of guilt, but remembering Bai Miaoqing still waiting at the hotel, she pressed on with the excuse she had prepared: “Excuse me… did the Chen Anran family used to live here?”

“Chen Anran… no one’s mentioned her in a long time,” the woman gave a bitter smile. “Yes, this is her home. It was then, and it still is now.”

“I… I was Chen Anran’s classmate from middle school. I’ve been working out of town all these years and just recently returned,” An Ruxin said cautiously. “I know this is sudden… what happened to Anran was so sudden. I’ve never been able to forget. Since I’m back in town, I thought I’d take the liberty to visit… I didn’t expect you’d still live here after all these years. I’m sorry to bother you…”

“It’s no trouble,” the woman—Aunt Chen—opened the door wider. “It makes me happy that one of her old classmates still remembers her after all these years. Come in, don’t just stand there. What’s your name?”

An Ruxin entered the house, casually giving a fake name as she did. She looked around out of habit: the house was clearly old, with peeling wallpaper and yellowing ceiling paint. The furniture was dated, but everything was kept neat and clean. Apart from feeling a little cold and quiet, the place showed the owner’s care and attention.

Aunt Chen quickly invited her to sit, then went to prepare tea with a glass cup. An Ruxin quickly thanked her, saying, “Auntie, you don’t have to go to the trouble. Please, sit down and rest.”

Once Aunt Chen was seated, An Ruxin finally spoke, pretending to be casual. “Auntie, has there really been no news about Anran all these years?”

“…Mm.” Aunt Chen’s eyes turned distant, as if recalling a joyful past. A hollow, warm smile appeared on her face. “My husband gave up on this long ago. He told me to treat it like our daughter passed away. Can’t blame him. Back when we were young, in the first few years after she went missing, he quit his job and searched everywhere—north to south, near and far—but no matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t find her. The years slipped by. By the time we realized it, we were already old. Life has to go on. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know… he believes she’s probably long gone.

But me? I can’t forget my daughter. She was so smart, so sweet, so well-behaved—how could anyone have the heart to hurt her? She must be out there somewhere, living happily. She should be about your age now, probably a beautiful young lady like you. I just think… maybe she forgot where home is. That’s why I didn’t want to move. I’m afraid if she tries to come back, she won’t be able to find us. Maybe, just maybe, one day she’ll return, knock on the door, and when I open it, there she’ll be—beautiful as ever—calling me Mom… I’m just waiting for that day…”

Her voice broke. An Ruxin didn’t know what to say. She simply pulled out some napkins from her pocket and handed them over, offering quiet comfort.

Aunt Chen sniffled and wiped her face before forcing a smile. “Aiya, look at me, making a fool of myself… Don’t mind me, child. People get sentimental when they’re old. I’m not ashamed to admit it—sometimes, I feel like she’s still here, right in this house. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and feel this warmth in my chest. She was always afraid of the cold, you know. In winter, she’d say the heater wasn’t warm enough and would crawl into my bed, snuggle into my arms…”

It’s too cruel, An Ruxin thought.

If what Bai Miaoqing said was true, then Chen Anran had died on the very day she went missing—drowned by a ghost in the abandoned reservoir, dead at fifteen… But her parents…

An Ruxin bit her lip and finally voiced her true purpose. “Auntie, I know this is asking a lot… but I really do miss Anran. Could I maybe… take a look at her room? I promise I won’t touch anything.”

To her surprise, Aunt Chen agreed without hesitation. “Back then, my daughter loved having her best friends over. Sweet little girls, all of them. The moment they got home, they’d run straight to her room, shut the door, and laugh and chatter—I could hear them even from outside. Ah, I’m rambling again… Sorry. Come, I’ll show you.”

Aunt Chen stood and led An Ruxin to a door. “You must really miss her too. I won’t disturb you… I’ve kept her room just the way it was. I clean it every day, so whenever she comes back, she’ll have somewhere to stay. When she first went missing, the police came and took a lot of things to investigate. Later, they returned everything. The room is exactly as it was the day she left.”

An Ruxin thanked her again and stepped inside.

Aunt Chen gently closed the door behind her.

The bedroom was warm and sweetly girlish—pink bedspread, wallpaper in soft tones, the desk covered in stickers, with notebooks, extracurricular books, a desk lamp, and a small backpack slung over a chair. The wardrobe held little girl’s clothes. The wall was covered in certificates: “Outstanding Student,” “Model Youth,” “Excellent Pupil,” and awards from all kinds of competitions.

An Ruxin couldn’t bear to look too long. She walked to the desk and opened a drawer—

Inside was a digital camera, an old model. And a notebook with a glittery hardcover.

An Ruxin hesitated, then picked up the notebook.

——————

Bai Miaoqing lay alone on the hotel bed.

Her heart was still racing, her head dizzy, ears ringing.

Thinking back on what had just happened felt surreal… After all these years, she had finally… confessed that she liked Ruxin. It felt amazing…

Ruxin seemed to like her back too… That was the best part.

Bai Miaoqing couldn’t help but smile—at first silently, then bursting into laughter she couldn’t contain.

When had she fallen for Ruxin?

After high school, in a way, Bai Miaoqing’s wish had come true.

She became someone like Chen Anran—she learned to dress up, her grades improved, she made many friends, teachers and classmates liked her. Bai Miaoqing began to receive anonymous love letters.

But… was this really the life she had dreamed of?

It was painful. A kind of pain she couldn’t control. Even though it hurt, she still told herself, “This is good enough. Let it continue like this.” But when she looked at those love letters, she couldn’t help but wonder: did the people who liked her—the secret admirers, the kind friends, the teachers—did they only like the way she looked now? Was the real Bai Miaoqing still trapped inside, unchanged, unseen?

Even with those doubts, she thought, “This isn’t so bad. At least at school, I see smiling faces every day.”

But with what eyes was she seeing them? With what mind was she thinking? With what heart was she feeling?

She couldn’t bear it anymore. From the house across the hall, she could always hear Chen Anran’s parents crying—even at night. Bai Miaoqing’s sleep got worse and worse. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Chen Anran’s final moments.

And nothing at home had changed at all.

Dad and Mom kept fighting, every single day.

She had once thought that if she became a good child, her parents would make up and become gentle again, just like Chen Anran’s parents used to be. But in the end, her parents stayed the same—indifferent to her changes—and Chen Anran’s parents… they would never be the same again either.

Sometimes, Bai Miaoqing really wanted to scream at her quarreling parents: “Can’t you see? Can’t you see how I’ve changed?! Do I not even exist?!”

But she couldn’t.

Maybe it was because she was too cowardly.

Only in very rare moments, when she was alone, could Bai Miaoqing be her true self. That day during the school sports festival, she finally broke down crying in a bathroom stall. She hadn’t expected to run into An Ruxin when she came out.

Bai Miaoqing didn’t have a strong impression of An Ruxin at the time. She felt deeply embarrassed, yet there was also a quiet sense of relief: At least… someone saw the real me.

And unexpectedly, An Ruxin had comforted her—gently.

Finally, someone had shown gentleness toward the real her.

From then on, Bai Miaoqing fell for An Ruxin, naturally and irreversibly. She couldn’t say it out loud, couldn’t even write it down, but her feelings were real. In fact, her secret crush on An Ruxin had become something like a lifeline, a way to remind herself of who she really was.

Later, when collecting homework, Bai Miaoqing recognized An Ruxin’s handwriting—those love letters had been written by her. What incredible luck… If it was Ruxin, then surely she would love the real Bai Miaoqing too.

That’s why, to this day, Bai Miaoqing still keeps those letters.

And then, An Ruxin confessed to her. In that moment, Bai Miaoqing’s true self shouted: I like you too.

That was the happiest moment of her entire high school life.

But right after that moment of joy, everything was taken away.

That was the curse of Chen Anran.

—

Author’s Note:

Please read this story with the mindset that no one is entirely good and everyone has their secrets…