Chapter 58: The Love-Brain Female Lead Awakens 1

Sang Ruo decided to break up with her boyfriend, Zhou Yan, whom she had spent three years chasing before they finally got together.

The reason was a dream. In that dream, from Sang Ruo’s objective perspective as a bystander, Zhou Yan was truly an unworthy partner.

It sounded absurd, but Sang Ruo had given it deep thought.

That dream was too real, so real that every time she thought of it, her scalp tingled. She felt even angrier at the version of herself in the dream who had been blinded by love and compromised her dignity.

Sang Ruo still remembered waking up that day in her dormitory bed, feeling a sense of confusion as if she didn’t know what year it was.

Before dawn, she sat on the bed hugging her knees, recalling the dream.

Strictly speaking, the Zhou Yan in the dream hadn’t done anything that would provoke divine wrath or human resentment.

On the contrary, the “loving” couple had experienced many things together for the sake of their love, finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and entering marriage. Long-distance relationships, disapproval from both sets of parents, conflicts over future plans…

But even after marriage, life was mostly filled with dissatisfaction. Fortunately, they had weathered it all together.

An unexpected pregnancy right after graduation, an accidental miscarriage eight months into the pregnancy followed by the loss of her fertility, the passing of Sang Ruo’s parents…

What a pair of spouses worn down by life; what a “great” love.

But as soon as one stepped out of the relationship to look at it, everything felt wrong. All the suffering between them was borne by Sang Ruo alone. As for Zhou Yan, he sometimes even benefited from it.

For example, the long-distance relationship happened because Zhou Yan, as an only son, “had to” return to his home province for an internship and job search during his senior year. Every day, he poured out his helplessness and longing to Sang Ruo. How could she stand that? Although she was also under her parents’ supervision, she found an opportunity to sneak off to Zhou Yan’s city. Zhou Yan was moved by her sacrifice and was lavish with his praise. She was so swept up in being flattered that she couldn’t think of anything else. Meanwhile, Zhou Yan never directly faced the doubts Sang Ruo’s parents had about him and the relationship.

Not long after, Sang Ruo became unexpectedly pregnant, even before her graduation thesis defense.

Sang Ruo was panicked and didn’t know what to do. It was Zhou Yan who begged her to keep the child, citing many cases to persuade her about how bad abortions were for a woman’s body, saying he couldn’t bear to see her suffer.

The Sang family, forced by circumstances, dejectedly sent her off to be married. The Zhou family, however, welcomed her with an arrogant attitude.

That arrogance even extended throughout her and Zhou Yan’s entire married life.

It was truly laughable. The Zhou family actually believed that because the gap in their family backgrounds was so large, they had to suppress the spirit of this rich young lady from the start to keep her in check. Only then could they put on the airs of elders in front of her.

Fortunately for them, her premarital pregnancy was already a major weakness. After the wedding, they were critical of her in every way, accusing her of not being virtuous or considerate enough, dressing too flashily, and being disrespectful to her elders by talking back, among many other things…

How could Sang Ruo, who had been raised with pampering, take this kind of abuse?

It was Zhou Yan who pleaded with her, coaxing her, saying that the elders weren’t very educated and couldn’t be reasoned with. He argued that since they only saw them a few times a year, she should just endure it. For the sake of… their love.

To hell with that love. This love made her compromise during her pregnancy, forcing her to learn how to cook and iron clothes for Zhou Yan amidst her mother-in-law’s criticism while she was heavily pregnant.

During the Mid-Autumn Festival the year they graduated, the Zhou family relatives gathered at Zhou Yan’s aunt’s house. As the new daughter-in-law, the task of preparing dinner for over ten people fell on Sang Ruo. At that time, she was already thirty weeks pregnant.

That day, Zhou Yan was late because of some business.

That day, a sudden earthquake struck. Everyone ran out, but they all forgot about Sang Ruo, who had difficulty moving.

As a result, she nearly lost her life along with the baby.

Sang Ruo only managed to survive because a friend of her father’s arrived just in time with a doctor.

As for the child, it naturally couldn’t be saved. Sang Ruo even lost the ability to ever become a mother again.

The infertile Sang Ruo caused an uproar in the Zhou family, and everyone urged Zhou Yan to get a divorce. Zhou Yan “manfully” withstood the pressure and stayed with her, because of love…

The Zhou family never stopped criticizing her. Some even urged her to initiate the divorce under the guise of being “for her own good.” Although she was angry that her in-laws were heartless, as time passed, she also felt she had wronged Zhou Yan by making it impossible for him to be a father. She lived even more cautiously within the Zhou family.

This incident left Sang Ruo despondent for a long time. Just as she finally managed to pull herself out of it, her parents suddenly died in a car accident. She felt as if the sky had collapsed.

While Zhou Yan comforted her, he also took over the Sang family business. His status became incomparable to what it once was.

Later, they even adopted a child together. Perhaps it was fate, but the child looked very much like Zhou Yan.

Everything seemed to be heading in a good direction, but the only one getting better and better was Zhou Yan. Sang Ruo gradually grew weary, worn down by the years and trivial matters.

In the eyes of outsiders, she and Zhou Yan were a model couple, the image of what everyone aspired to be.

However, reaching middle age and looking back at half her life, Sang Ruo felt a sense of absurdity, as if her life was a forced “happy ending.” She couldn’t even remember what it felt like to fall in love with Zhou Yan, or what had sustained her through her stifling marriage, as if she had been bewitched.

In the end, Zhou Yan went from having nothing to having everything, while she was left with nothing but the title of Mrs. Zhou. Waking up in the middle of the night and looking at the man beside her, she felt he was a stranger.

Normally, no matter how strong the emotions in Sang Ruo’s dreams were, she would quickly forget them upon waking.

But this dream was different. It didn’t seem to fade from her memory at all; it felt as if she had lived through it.

Sang Ruo didn’t think it was an ordinary dream. Perhaps it was a warning from fate. Maybe such things really had happened in some parallel universe. After all, with her imagination, she couldn’t have woven such a story. It was logically consistent and clearly structured.

To say it was a case of “thinking by day, dreaming by night” didn’t fit either. She and Zhou Yan were currently in the honeymoon phase of their relationship; she wasn’t anxious enough to arrange such a miserable life for herself.

She checked the time and waited until it was time for her parents to wake up. Stepping lightly out of the dormitory, she couldn’t wait to make a phone call.

Sang Ruo called her mother first. The phone rang for a while before being picked up. Her mother’s voice sounded a bit urgent as she called out her childhood nickname.

“Bubu, why are you calling so early? Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing.” Hearing her mother’s familiar voice, she actually felt a surge of joy as if she had regained something lost. Even her voice became thick with emotion. She took a deep breath, controlling her voice, and replied, “I wanted to get up early today to grab some fresh meat buns from the cafeteria.”

The other side seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Her mother teased, “Only good food can get our young lady out of bed early.”

“Mhm…” Hearing her mother’s nagging was incredibly reassuring. Sang Ruo hummed vaguely and explained, “I called because I wanted to say I plan to come home for the Dragon Boat Festival holiday.”

“Don’t come back, it’s too much trouble. I was just discussing it with your dad last night. In another half month, your dad happens to be going to Qingyang on a business trip. He can just go see you then.”

“But…”

“That’s settled then, Bubu. Mom has an appointment with a big client today and needs to get to the shop early.” As she spoke, she prepared to hang up. “Your dad mailed you a box of lychees this morning. Your aunt also sent half a box of her homemade salted duck eggs to have with your porridge in the morning. Remember to pick them up early and share them with your classmates.”

She hung up without waiting for Sang Ruo to reply.

“Wait…”

She then called her father. Old Sang picked up almost instantly.

“Does my daughter miss her daddy?” Regardless of what Sang Ruo said, he continued chattering, “Be good, Daddy will see you in half a month. I sent you some fresh produce; I’ve sent you the tracking number. Remember to pick it up.”

“Oh.”

“Alright, well, Dad is busy shaving now.”

Not a single person had addressed the lingering emotions accumulated from her nightmare. However, talking to her parents did make her feel much better.

Her resolve to break up with Zhou Yan was already very strong, but she hadn’t figured out how to say it yet.

When she returned to the dormitory, her roommate Yin Xiaoxin was up and applying makeup. This girl was arguably the most diligent person in their room; just based on the fact that she could spend two hours every morning on skincare and makeup, few people could compare.

“Oh, Ruo Ruo, you’re up so early,” Yin Xiaoxin said while applying lotion.

Seeing her now, Sang Ruo felt a stir in her heart. She sat down beside her and asked somewhat hesitantly, “Xiaoxin, you know a lot of people in the Department of Economics and Trade. Is there a girl named Chi Qing?”

Zhou Yan was in the Department of Economics and Trade, and Yin Xiaoxin’s boyfriend was in the same department. As a social butterfly, she was familiar with many people around her boyfriend.

“Huh…” Yin Xiaoxin first let out a startled cry, then turned around with a gossiping expression, asking Sang Ruo instead, “So, is it actually true?”

“What?”

“Chi Qing.” Yin Xiaoxin clenched her fists, looking as if she were standing in the same trenches as Sang Ruo. “I heard some girls from their department say that Chi Qing likes Zhou Yan, but I don’t know if it’s true or not. They were just gossiping for fun and there was no evidence, so I didn’t feel right telling you. I didn’t want to affect your relationship.”

Sang Ruo felt as if her head had been struck by a powerful force. She didn’t know anyone named Chi Qing; that name had appeared in her dream last night.

In the dream, she found out after getting married that Chi Qing and Zhou Yan had been involved in an ambiguous relationship during university, and later she would appear by Zhou Yan’s side from time to time. After the child she and Zhou Yan adopted grew a bit older, she even suspected the child belonged to Chi Qing and Zhou Yan based on his appearance. Because of this, she and Zhou Yan had fought countless times. But no matter how much she made a scene, Zhou Yan refused to do a paternity test, rebuking her for being paranoid and telling her to stop acting crazy.

If Chi Qing was real… then that dream…

Sang Ruo spent the entire morning’s classes in a daze. When Zhou Yan asked her to have lunch, she didn’t go; she didn’t know how to face him.

Wandering aimlessly through the campus, she slowly returned to the dormitory only to hear Yin Xiaoxin complaining, “The teacher went over time again today. Not only did I miss out on the sweet and sour ribs, but by the time I got there, the only meat dish that looked decent was the braised duck with konjac.” She poked the konjac in her lunch box one stroke at a time. “But I don’t like konjac, and I don’t like duck meat either.”

Her tone was whimpering and quite pitiful.

Sang Ruo climbed into her bed and asked Yin Xiaoxin to help her sign in for her afternoon classes. There were only two major lectures in the afternoon with many students, making it easy to slip through.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

Sang Ruo lay there, but she couldn’t fall asleep.

She was in the top bunk, and lying down, she could just see the electric cooker hidden on top of the wardrobe. It was bought through a collective fund by the roommates and was occasionally used to cook instant noodles. To prevent the dormitory supervisor from finding it during inspections, it was hidden in a blind spot high up.

Possessed by a sudden whim, she took out her phone and used a delivery app to buy two pounds of pork rib mid-sections, a bunch of Chinese broccoli, and some seasonings.

Sang Ruo had been raised pampered and had never worked a day in the kitchen; she had no idea how to cook. But the version of her in the dream did. To take good care of Zhou Yan and their adopted son, she had mastered every skill in the kitchen.

She wanted to verify it one more time.

Translator’s Notes

• ten fingers do not touch spring water: A traditional Chinese idiom (十指不沾阳春水) describing someone who has never done manual labor or household chores, implying they were raised in wealth or luxury.