Chapter 52: Come to Quarrel

Wang Jiexiang didn’t return to reconcile with Yin Xian, she came back to quarrel with him.

If she took the initiative to be with him, should she also take the initiative to break up? It wasn’t her choice to break up, the one who wants to break up should take the initiative.

Wang Jiexiang believed in one thing: you won’t cry until you see the coffin.

If you don’t witness the worst outcome with your own eyes, if you’re not clearly told, she would never give up.

She convinced herself, and set off on her way home.

It had been a long time since Wang Jiexiang had someone to pick her up, no longer needing to walk down the dark, steep road of Urban Village alone. When she reached the place where Yin Xian used to wait for her, she involuntarily looked around.

If he didn’t know where to find her, he should be waiting here. This was the road she always took home.

Once again, Wang Jiexiang was disappointed, there was no one nearby.

She walked on listlessly, reaching the bend at the bottom of the hill, and there were no bright lights on at home.

—Yin Xian always kept the lights on waiting for her. Was he not home?

Thinking of this, Wang Jiexiang hurried, taking two steps at a time, and ran to the door.

“Knock knock knock.” She knocked on the door forcefully, inwardly hoping no one would answer.

She knocked about seven or eight times, and footsteps came from inside.

The door opened from the inside, and Yin Xian was home.

They looked at each other, surprised.

Yin Xian was surprised by Wang Jiexiang’s disheveled state—there was dirt on her face, her hair was messy, and her eyes were red and swollen; her bare feet were dark with dirt.

Wang Jiexiang was surprised by how clean and neat Yin Xian looked. He had changed into pajamas, his hair was wet, clearly just showered.

A tempting aroma of food wafted from the house…

She had run out, and now she didn’t know where she went, but he had the mind to cook at home. The time it took to open the door probably meant he was having dinner.

Sure enough, after seeing the lunch box in her hand, Yin Xian stepped aside and said the first thing to her.

“The rice and dishes are ready, do you want to eat?”

Wang Jiexiang’s face turned green and pale in turns.

She opened her mouth in shock, her tone distorted, “Do you think I can still eat?”

—No boyfriend, no home, they were breaking up.

Wang Jiexiang felt like the end of the world had come.

Looking at his reaction, it was as if she hadn’t run away from home, she had just gone to the bathroom and came back.

Yin Xian nodded in understanding.

He left the door open, seemingly giving her the freedom to do as she pleased, and went to eat by himself.

Wang Jiexiang had the thought for the first time: “Is this person not quite normal?”

She followed him into the house, and Yin Xian sat down to eat.

He had stewed the fish she brought home yesterday, eating while carefully picking out the bones.

If Wang Jiexiang hadn’t come home tonight, Yin Xian would likely have cleaned the dining table, washed the dishes, and gone to bed. He didn’t even remember to leave the big lights on for her, quickly returning to his usual routine.

Wang Jiexiang’s heartstrings snapped completely.

She could hear her voice, hoarse and high-pitched, like a musical instrument that had been violently broken, making strange and harsh noises.

“Do you know how to get along with those close to you?”

“Do you know how to love her, care for her, respect her, protect her?”

“Do you understand that people shouldn’t be hurt so easily?”

At this moment, Yin Xian’s behavior seemed completely indifferent to her.

But deep down, Wang Jiexiang didn’t believe it.

She truly didn’t believe it, which is why she was still standing here; she had no shame, no self-respect, no one was looking for her, so she came back herself.

She had truly received, had truly felt love from him, even though he never said “I love you,” even though many of his actions had broken her heart.

Where had it all gone wrong?

Wang Jiexiang didn’t believe it. But standing here in this moment, she couldn’t help but start to wonder: Could it have always been her own delusion?

“I said we should break up. If you don’t want to break up, at least try to keep me. If you want to break up, then just say it.”

She spoke to Yin Xian’s back, like speaking to a stone, or a wall.

She couldn’t see his expression.

But she had long since grown tired of seeing his expressions.

It was always either a frown and a cold face, or simply no expression at all.

Yin Xian put down his chopsticks.

He turned to look at her, a smile on his face, a faint sense of relief in his eyes.

“Everyone has to leave eventually.”

He said, “You too, it’s better if you go.”

What Yin Xian was thinking, Wang Jiexiang couldn’t even begin to imagine.

He truly felt that no one loved him, no one cared about him.

He truly felt that others lived better without him.

He was always calm, always ready to say goodbye as soon as he picked up his luggage.

He was always prepared, never regretful, never sad.

“Better if I go?” She asked him back, “Where should I go?”

“Late at night, I run out, where should I go? Do you think I’ll live better without you? Do you think I won’t be sad when I lose you? I said I want to be with you for life, do you think I was joking? Tell me, where should I go?”

Yin Xian thought about her words.

His eyes, usually sharp and calculating, slowly became a little confused, making him seem a little dull and absent-minded.

“I don’t know.”

Tilting his head, Yin Xian, without much confidence, slowly and carefully extracted his confused memories from his mind.

“You like rabbits. You love milk-flavored Popsicles, you love carrot juice, you’re always angry, you miss your mom… the rest, I don’t know.”

Then, he sincerely asked her, “Where should I go to find it?”

His words, which didn’t make sense, immediately left Wang Jiexiang dumbfounded with anger.

—Who loves carrot juice and milk-flavored Popsicles? What’s with the conclusion that she’s always angry?

For a moment, she was brought into a daze by him, suddenly feeling a sense of detachment. Just moments ago, she had been heartbroken and distressed, but now her emotions had calmed down significantly. It felt as though, from an observer’s perspective, she quickly glanced at the emotions that had tightly bound her. Back in the present moment, Wang Jiexiang was still angry, but the problem no longer seemed as serious.

She still remembered what she had to say, and at Yin Xian’s first sentence, she was ready to rebut.

“You don’t know, and that’s right, because I have nowhere to go.”

Yin Xian didn’t speak.

Wang Jiexiang stared at him, signaling for him to respond.