Chapter 297: The Parenting Manual (Part 3)

Lu Ayao only looked at me briefly without saying anything, though. He went upstairs to put his things away, then headed out to the countryside with He Yu in my car. He Yu had arranged with a pig farmer a long time ago to slaughter a pig as the New Year approached, and it had already been delayed for a while.

Standing on the second floor, I watched their car drive away. My right arm felt strangely weak, probably from holding the baby for so long. Straining those few specific arm muscles was worse than anything I’d gone through back when I was roughing it in the high-altitude no-man’s-land. Lately, even holding chopsticks felt like a struggle.

That night, taking care of the baby fell to me again as usual. I had tried to reset my sleep schedule before, but it was tough. I’d spent so many years pulling all-nighters that a habit built up over decades wasn’t something I could fix in a few days. Besides, I couldn’t take sleeping pills to help, because if I slept like a log, I really wouldn’t hear a sound in the middle of the night.

But tonight, I didn’t know what had gotten into her; she just wouldn’t stop crying. I could only pace around the room while coaxing her. I was almost falling asleep myself, yet she didn’t seem sleepy at all. I decided to keep holding her and do a few more laps.

As I passed the desk, half-asleep, my waist slammed right into the sharp corner with a loud clatter, knocking over a row of brushes on the stand. The sharp pain jolted me wide awake. I hurriedly pressed against the desk, wincing in agony as dizzy spells washed over me. Then I heard a knock, and after two taps, the door opened.

Lu Ayao must have heard the noise from next door. He came in and saw me doubled over with one hand supporting myself against the desk. He came over to ask if I was alright, then took the crying baby from my arms. After catching my breath for a moment, I waved him off and said I was fine.

I rubbed my waist hard, and once it didn’t hurt as much, I reached over to take the baby back from his arms, but his hand blocked me.

He walked straight to my bed and set the crying baby in the crib. Feeling the blanket around her, he frowned and said, “This blanket is too thick. She’s crying because she’s hot.”

I stood beside him feeling puzzled, but watched as he removed the extra blanket layers. He then picked her up, letting her lie tummy-down against his chest while gently patting her back.

An eerily heartwarming vibe rushed over me. I watched him from the side for a bit, feeling even weirder about it. He Yu and I had to look up tutorials online just to figure out how to hold a baby properly, and at first we didn’t even dare pick her up for fear of dropping the little thing. Yet here he was, taking over so naturally! And damn it, his form was textbook perfect!

Less than fifteen minutes after he took off the extra blanket, the baby stopped crying and fussing completely. Having witnessed the whole thing from start to finish, I was practically ready to bow down in reverence. Once again, I marveled in my heart: Master Lu! You really are fucking amazing!

Seeing that she had stopped crying, Lu Ayao placed her back into the crib. He dragged my chair over to the other side of the crib and began rocking it gently. I lay slumped against the edge of the bed, intending to pick up a few tricks at first, but soon my eyelids were fighting to stay open, and I couldn’t tell when I finally drifted off.

I slept until noon the next day. I hadn’t woken up naturally like this in weeks, so I felt immensely satisfied when I got out of bed. The baby wasn’t in her crib. Stretching, I headed downstairs to look for her. He Yu was cooking, while Lu Ayao sat on the sofa in the living room peeling an orange, a book resting on his lap, with the baby sleeping soundly beside him.

After washing up, I stood on the porch scratching my messy hair, thinking to myself: How is this fair? Why was she so well-behaved with him, yet she spent every waking moment tormenting me when I was in charge?

I walked into the living room and sat on the sofa, still finding the reality a bit hard to accept. Lu Ayao casually handed me the orange he had just finished peeling. I took a segment, stuffed it into my mouth, and asked, “Do you have a secret child somewhere?”

He looked at me and blinked slowly.

It took a moment for him to realize what I was asking. He shook his head. “Most people in the Lu Clan lead wandering lives. A lot of times, there are no adults at home, so the older ones have to raise the younger ones. After Lu Wanshui met his end in Xiangnan, I had to raise Lu Qianshan. I didn’t know how at first, but I figured it out as I went along.”

I took the book from Lu Ayao’s lap and flipped past his bookmark. It was an old volume about Yangshi Lei^[1] architecture, complete with illustrations. My interest was piqued immediately, so I grabbed a handful of melon seeds and started reading while snacking on them.

“Do you also think I’ve lost my mind, acting all high-strung and causing trouble every day?” I asked.

“No.” Lu Ayao flipped to a random TV channel, his tone flat.

I looked up and glanced at He Yu, who was busy scrubbing a pot nearby. Once I was sure he wouldn’t come over to butt in, I continued:

“I know this decision seems impulsive to you all, but I really do love this child. Maybe it’s because I found her on the mountain. I know that every year, many parents who don’t want a daughter will travel a long way into the mountains just to abandon them. In a cold winter like this, a child left out there has almost no chance of survival.”

I took a sip of water. “When I found her, she was wrapped in white cloth. It had just snowed on the mountain, so the intention behind wrapping her in white was plain to see. But even so, I still spotted her. So when we were at the hospital, I thought that if she could survive, I had to bring her home.”

“I understand.”

Lu Ayao sensed the shift in my emotions. He pressed another peeled orange into my hand and reached out to pat my back. I had never said these things to He Yu; he might not have understood. But Lu Ayao certainly did. According to Tian Yuqing, back when I was fighting for my life in Qiangtang, Lu Ayao had taken a bus to Xiangnan.

That was the place where I had broken down my flesh and bones to rebuild myself. I learned the final destination of the Five Masters, my own destination, the Lu Clan’s destination, and the beginning of everything a thousand years ago. It was the place where I finally recognized my fate.

I lowered my head and ate the orange segments in silence, staring at the little girl on the sofa. My heart felt heavy with sorrow.

Her parents had already abandoned her. How could I abandon her too?

Lu Ayao waited for me to calm down before speaking. “He Yu told me about your situation lately. Living like this will take a heavy toll on your body.”

He hit the nail on the head. I really couldn’t hold out much longer, but I didn’t have a better solution at the moment.

Lu Ayao asked me, “Raising a girl is different from raising a boy. Once she grows up, the three of us will have to maintain boundaries, which will make it harder to look after her. Maybe there’s a better way to give her a proper home.”

The way he spoke made it obvious he already had a suggestion in mind. What Lu Ayao said made perfect sense, and I wasn’t opposed to it, so I picked up my cup and looked at him. “Are you saying we should help her find a good family we know and trust?”

Lu Ayao nodded in silent agreement.

I set my cup down. “But who can we find? In our line of work, it’s easy to find people who are filthy rich, but families with good character, education, and culture are rare. I don’t want her getting involved in our old trade. It’s too dangerous.”

As I was speaking, He Yu stepped through the door. I had no idea how long the guy had been eavesdropping outside. Flipping a spatula in his hand, he blurted out casually, “I say, why not just send her to your mom? She’s got nothing to do anyway. It’ll give her something to keep her busy, and that way you won’t have to deal with her constant phone calls every holiday.”

I snapped at him, “Only you could come up with something so ridiculous. That would mess up the whole family hierarchy. I’m in my thirties; I don’t want a sister who’s only a few months old. If I worked at it, I could have a daughter her age. What would people on the streets think of my mom? Besides, with that love-brained Han Cheng around, wouldn’t he come hunting me down?”

“I was just blobering out of desperation. But you’re right, that really is an issue,” He Yu said, slapping his forehead. He pointed a finger at Lu Ayao. “Hey, hey, hey! The Lu Clan! The Lu Clan is a massive family, plenty of people, money, and power. And our Old Lu here is the Clan Head. How about it?”

Lu Ayao remained silent.

I completely ignored the signal He Yu was trying to send me and slapped the table. “No way! Absolutely not the Lu Clan! What a wretched bunch the Lu Clan are. Do their elders even know how to raise a child? Look at Lu Qianshan, or Lu Ling’s younger brother, or those old feudal remnants. They’re all textbook examples of what not to be. You saw how much they put Old Lu through a few years back.”

He Yu wasn’t as well-informed as we were, but he must have heard some rumors. He rubbed his chin. “But our Old Lu turned out fine, didn’t he? How do you explain that?”

“He turned out fine because Lu Xiaosu raised him. What does that have to do with the Lu Clan?” I said, my temper rising.

He Yu scratched his head. “Then who else is there? Don’t just shoot down all my ideas, try to think of someone. We have to find a good guardian for the little lady.”

I told them both to get back to their duties while I went upstairs to grab a pen and paper. Sitting on a small stool, I began to list names. To be honest, I didn’t know many ordinary families. Most everyone I knew was connected to our trade in some way. I wanted to find someone with a clean background, preferably a small family with no children of their own, and parents who were educated and cultured.

But after asking around, I realized such a family was almost impossible to find.

Eventually, I started whittling down my overly strict requirements one by one. The family could be a bit larger, but it had to have deep roots and be free of internal scheming.

This went on for three or four days. Every morning, I’d make lists and call around one by one. I spent twenty or thirty yuan just on phone calls, yet I couldn’t find a single candidate that satisfied me. At night, I was woken up as usual by my little silk-padded jacket. Although Lu Ayao ended up taking care of her most of the time, all sorts of problems kept cropping up. My psychological issues were completely cured, though, mostly because I didn’t have a spare second to overthink anything; any free time I had was spent catching up on sleep.

“I’m telling you, stop being so picky,” even He Yu tried to persuade me.

Pen in hand, I clutched my head and shook it.

I knew a family like that was hard to find, but if I was demanding and nitpicky now, it might save my little silk-padded jacket a lot of trouble later in life. Over the years, I’d seen too many people. Among those who came to put themselves forward, some just wanted a girl to complete a set with their son; others just wanted a daughter to care for them in their old age; and some were secretly eyeing the bride price.

When you’ve seen enough of human nature, you realize that’s just how people are.