Chapter 296: The Parenting Manual (Part 2)

When the hospital finally notified me to pick up the baby, He Yu came along anyway. He paid out of his own pocket for a mountain of supplies, which had me laughing just looking at it all.

The night before bringing her home, I stayed up late digging through a pile of junk in the basement of my grandfather’s ancestral home to pull out the old-fashioned cradle I’d used as a baby. The next day, I washed all the padding He Yu had bought, dried it thoroughly in the sun, and lined the cradle with it. I even put a lot of thought into decorating it; just looking at it felt incredibly cozy.

“Not bad, look at you. You’re actually starting to look like a father.” He Yu had just finished putting away the groceries he bought from the morning market, coming out into the courtyard only to see the cradle sitting there.

I looked at my handiwork bathed in sunlight, immensely satisfied, and shot him a “don’t be jealous of your big bro” look.

He Yu rolled his eyes at me, carrying a stainless steel basin around to the living room to trim the vegetables. As he picked through the bad leaves, he started sounding sour: “Well, isn’t this great? Now that our Little Master Gan has his sweet little padded jacket^[1], how could he possibly care whether his brother lives or dies?”

I slapped his arm and told him to stop talking nonsense.

Then came picking up the child. The county town was small, and the welfare home was less than eight hundred meters from my family’s old house. Since everyone knew each other inside out, it was easy to communicate. Before I left, the director of the welfare home added my contact info, sent me the exact schedule and amounts for formula feeding, and briefed me on various other odds and ends.

However, I had already done my research. I’d spent four or five days looking up tutorials. Changing diapers, mixing formula, burping: none of it was a problem. But I still ran into a minor issue.

I stood in the sunlight, frowning down at the endlessly crying baby in my arms. Her wails made my temples throb, the sound piercing straight up to the crown of my head. The baby’s head rested on my shoulder while He Yu flailed around behind me, trying to entertain her with a terrifyingly distorted face.

The crying got even louder.

I quickly carried the child off to the side, soothing her as I walked. “Is that how you coax a baby? You’re just scaring her!”

“You’re the one who started it!” He Yu retorted. “I don’t have experience. You’re the one with experience, so hurry up and coax her! Don’t let her keep crying. It’s the middle of the day; if she keeps crying like this, the neighbors will complain.” As he spoke, he pushed the cradle I’d carefully set up right into the house.

I hurriedly stopped him. “Hey, hey, hey! What are you pushing it inside for?”

“The kid is just too small to get used to sleeping in a cradle. Didn’t you see earlier? She didn’t cry once on the way back, but the second you put her in there, she burst out crying like this.” He didn’t even look up at me as he pushed the cradle straight into the storage room, shouting back, “Holding her all the time like that is going to be exhausting. If you ask me, you’d better figure out another way soon.”

I stood in the sun and rocked her for a bit until she fell asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful the little thing wasn’t too much of a handful.

Patting her back, I whispered to He Yu, “You. Go to the shop right now and tell Chen Canghai to get me a crib immediately.”

He Yu gave me a meaningful look. Reading his mind, I snapped right back, “How am I supposed to go? I’d have to leave the baby with you. If she starts crying again, can you handle it? As the godfather of our little padded jacket, you have a bit of a duty to help care for her too. Now go, hurry.”

Hearing this, He Yu probably figured running an errand was much easier than dealing with a baby. He put on his coat and left without another word.

About twenty minutes later, as I sat on the courtyard steps holding the child, I saw two vans roar down the road. With a piercing screech of brakes, they skidded to a halt at my gate. The door of the lead van slid open and eight workers piled out. Then I saw Old Qian, and my heart sank.

I stood up instantly, ducked my head, and headed upstairs without a word.

“Oh! My ancestor! My dear ancestor, you’ve finally done something proper! Now, when the holidays come around, I can finally give the Eldest Miss an explanation!”

Damn Old Qian moved like he’d teleported, blocking my path completely. I turned and glared at He Yu, who was standing by the door kicking a pebble. Sending him to the shop had been a mistake. I hadn’t intended for any of my subordinates to find out about this, but with a big mouth like Old Qian involved, now everyone would know.

“My, my, let Uncle have a look. Oh, she’s asleep,” Old Qian said, tilting his head to peer at the child in my arms. I wanted to roll my eyes. I had no idea what he could even see from that angle, but he kept babbling. He lowered his voice. “Where’s the mother? Why don’t I see her?”

I snapped right back at him, “I’m her mother! I’m her father and her mother, alright?”

Old Qian froze, stunned by my outburst.

Fearing I’d lose my temper, He Yu quickly pulled Old Qian aside to explain the whole story. I didn’t want to deal with them, so I stepped aside to make way for the workers carrying the crib. As they walked past me, they all nodded.

“Congratulations, Master Gan, on your baby girl.”

“Congratulations, Master Gan.”

It made my blood boil so much my liver nearly exploded^[2], but the worst part was that looking like this gave me no way to argue. If I denied it, by tomorrow everyone for miles around would be calling me a heartless scum and an irresponsible bastard who fathered a child without raising her. Just thinking about it made my heart throb with pain.

After He Yu and Old Qian finished talking about me off to the side, Old Qian instantly deflated. He coughed twice and walked over. “My lord, which nerve in your brain misfired this time? This is ridiculous. Since when do you know how to take care of a child? If you wear yourself out, how are we supposed to explain ourselves?”

I rocked the baby in the sunlight and looked up at the workers on the second floor. “I’ll handle it myself. I want to do this, okay?”

Just as I said that, He Yu started gesturing to the men. “Hey, hey! Don’t put it in the wrong room! Not the room next door, put it right by Master Gan’s bed. Make sure it’s sturdy; he’s going to be taking care of her personally!”

I shot him an annoyed look.

Once the new crib was set up, the little girl didn’t reject it like she had the cradle. After being fed, she started squirming around in the crib. He Yu brought his dinner into my room to eat while teasing her. I finished my meal and sat on the edge of the bed, sending text messages on my phone.

“Hehe, she’s got some strength in those arms and legs. Our girl won’t have any trouble in a fight later on.” He Yu laughed foolishly, looking over and tapping his bowl with his chopsticks.

“Why are you on your phone again? What are you texting? You’ve been staring at it forever. I’m telling you, watching a kid requires having eyes on all sides and ears open to everything. You have to keep your eyes on her every second. If you keep looking at that screen, something’s going to happen sooner or later.”

I put my phone down and looked at him helplessly. “I was messaging my mom. Can we really trust what Old Qian said? Since the news is already out there, I might as well turn myself in. Chinese New Year is right around the corner. If I come clean now, maybe I can clear up the rumors sooner.”

At the mention of this, He Yu looked a bit guilty and quickly changed the subject. “When is Old Lu coming back this year? Did he tell you? We need to start buying New Year’s supplies. Otherwise, when guests show up, we’ll have nothing to give them but packets of instant noodles to slurp on. There’s too much stuff for me to handle alone, and you’re preoccupied with this little one. Old Lu needs to come back early to help me.”

I thought about it for a moment. Usually, He Yu and I would drive to the countryside together to buy pigs and sheep, but this year was different. I couldn’t get away, Chen Canghai had to watch the shop, and Old Qian had his own family to look after. We were short-handed, and it would indeed be a bit cramped with just the two of us.

“I’ll message him and tell him to come back early,” I said, swatting away his hand as he reached into the crib to tickle the baby. I scolded He Yu for making the little girl giggle. “Did you wash your hands? And stop playing; finish your dinner already. It’s almost eight, I need to get her to sleep.”

“This early?” He stood up with his empty bowl and checked the time.

I gave him a playful kick and told him to get lost, asking him to shut the door behind him.

It took me about half an hour to get the baby to sleep. Afterward, I cleaned myself up and lay down in bed. But He Yu was right; it really was too early for me to sleep. Inevitably, I started fiddling with my phone again.

First, I sent a WeChat message to Lu Ayao, saying He Yu missed him and telling him to come back as soon as possible if he had free time. He replied with a single question mark. I sent a sticker back, and he didn’t reply again. I knew he must have gone to find He Yu. I chuckled to myself, enjoying the success of my little prank.

Then I started chatting idly with my mother. I hadn’t realized it before, but she was actually quite experienced with children. I picked her brain for advice and copied her tips one by one into my notes app.

As I browsed, time slipped away until it was after midnight. Drowsiness finally hit me. Just as I was about to turn off my phone and sleep, I heard a stir from the crib. I scrambled up and picked up the crying child to soothe her, but she only cried louder. The sound felt jarringly loud in the silence of the early morning.

As it turned out, there was a significant gap between theory and practice. The wailing made my brain stall completely. All the strategies and notes I’d gathered vanished instantly. I could only rock her repeatedly, praying she would stop, but my wish went unfulfilled. Twenty minutes later, she was fussing even harder.

She probably wasn’t hungry, but I couldn’t be sure.

I really couldn’t handle this situation well. I ended up wrapping the little girl up tightly and heading downstairs to make her a bottle. I had just turned on the milk warmer when He Yu, woken by the crying, came out of his room with a coat draped over his shoulders. He headed to the kitchen to see what I was doing. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, and his voice was the only thing that snapped me back to alertness.

After waiting for the milk and feeding her, I spent more time upstairs soothing her until three-thirty in the morning. Only then did the little girl finally fall asleep. I tucked her into the crib and collapsed back onto the bed. My head had barely touched the pillow before I was out, saving me a dose of sleeping pills.

At seven in the morning, I was woken by crying again. My phone alarm went off right along with her. When I crawled out of bed, my head was buzzing. Ignoring my aching arms, I hurried downstairs to prepare more formula.

At first, I thought the child just wasn’t used to the new environment. But this night-crying continued for five straight days, turning into a vicious cycle. I was starting to break down.

It meant I was getting less than four hours of sleep every night. Later, when He Yu came back from grocery shopping, he found me slumped on the living room sofa fast asleep several times. I was drifting off completely unconsciously.

Finally, while heating up formula one morning, I fell asleep sitting by the kitchen door. Even though I only dozed off for a short while and went back into the kitchen the moment the timer went off, the cold draft managed to give me a cold. My eyes wouldn’t stop watering. He Yu hurriedly took over my duties and waved me off to the clinic to get some medicine.

Between the injections and the pills, the cold lasted for three days. During that time, I didn’t dare get close to the baby for fear of infecting her, so I had to leave her entirely in He Yu’s care. He watched her for two nights. By the third day, when I went to pick up Lu Ayao, He Yu was holding the child and weeping bitter tears, loudly denouncing my “evil deeds” to Lu Ayao.

“Ah, it wasn’t enough that he brought a kid home, he had to drag me into it too! Look at these dark circles! Look at my smooth, delicate skin, it’s breaking out!” He Yu sat on the sofa, clutching a stunned Lu Ayao while recounting his woes with great flourish.

I sat at the dining table holding the little girl, looking at him with disdain. I shook the bottle in my hand and said to Lu Ayao, “Don’t listen to his nonsense. He wasn’t acting like this when he was calling himself her godfather!”

“You, you, you! Tell the truth yourself. Didn’t you catch that cold because you were up making her milk?” He Yu shouted. “I’ve only done it for two days and I’m exhausted. We have no experience. With that constitution of yours, do you really think you can hold out?”

I was about to retort when I saw Lu Ayao turn to look at me. That serious gaze made me swallow my words instantly. I looked away guiltily, pretending I hadn’t heard a thing, and went back to feeding the baby.

That bastard He Yu. It hadn’t even been that long and he was already spilling my secrets.