Chapter 019

Qiao Man held a cup of ice-cold cola with both hands. The dark brown liquid bubbled and fizzed, and the outside of the paper cup was covered in a fine mist of condensation. He took a sip, feeling the bubbles dance on his tongue as the sweet flavor filled his mouth. Qiao Man opened his mouth and let out a happy, fizzy burp.

In the heat of summer, nothing brought more joy than a sip of an ice-cold drink.

His feet, dangling in mid-air, swung cheerfully.

He sat on a chair in the shade of a tree, his feet not touching the ground and his back unable to reach the backrest. He sat perfectly upright, gulping down the spoils of his long trek. In the distance, the directing team of Wilderness Challenge was in a frantic mess over the sudden accident.

Qiao Man watched with wide, round eyes as the director and Lu Jianxing argued about something. Unfortunately, they were too far away. Even with his ears perked up, he couldn’t hear a thing. Qiao Man wiggled his bottom restlessly, wanting to run over and see, but Xingxing had forbidden him from leaving the chair.

A female staff member wearing the Wilderness Challenge uniform walked over. “Little one, are you hungry?”

Qiao Man patted his stomach. “A little bit.”

“Would you like some biscuits? Or a small cake?” The staff member pulled snacks from her bag. “I have chocolate and candy too. Oh, and milk. Sweetie, do you want some milk?”

Qiao Man’s eyes sparkled. “Can I have all of it?”

Why wouldn’t he be allowed? The staff member gave him all the snacks in her bag.

On the other side, Lu Jianxing and the director were haggling.

Since the first season of Wilderness Challenge aired, there had never been a live broadcast accident where a contestant broke into the directing team’s work area!

Live streaming allowed the audience to see the contestants’ situation in real-time, reducing the possibility of fraud. At the same time, when an accident occurred, it was impossible to cover it up manually.

After the incident, Lu Jianxing’s livestream was urgently shut down, but the viewers following the broadcast had already seen everything. Once the room closed, clips were forwarded to various social media platforms. A screenshot of the stunned expression on the first staff member to run into Lu Jianxing and Qiao Man had already hit the trending searches.

Currently, the internet was buzzing with talk about this sudden accident, with every hashtag followed by a “Viral” tag.

“The most serious live broadcast accident in the history of Wilderness Challenge!”

“Metaphysics? Magic? The tragedy triggered by a bottle of cola!”

Various videos related to Qiao Man were spreading along with the news. Igniting Talisman Paper, catching snakes with bare hands, Pei Xiwang’s Calamity of Blood, the mystery of Zhan Yue’s background, and this journey to find cola – each was more bizarre and fantastical than the last. Netizens were amazed, hitting the share button and adding fuel to the fire of his popularity.

The goal of Wilderness Challenge was the most authentic wilderness survival. Every season was highly popular, but in its sixth season, this was the first time it had gone viral for something unrelated to survival, and the heat was higher than ever before.

Looking at the spectacle on the internet, the director of the sixth season of Wilderness Challenge felt like his career was nearing its end.

He clutched his few remaining hairs in a breakdown. “How on earth did you find this place!”

Lu Jianxing rubbed his nose. “It was an accident.”

“Since he can perform rituals,” the director began to talk nonsense out of desperation, “can you have him perform one to rewind time to before all this started?”

“…”

Lu Jianxing looked at him with a silent, deadpan expression.

The director wiped his face, resigning himself to fate.

With experience from previous seasons, the production team had envisioned countless possible accidents and prepared several emergency plans before the show began. But no matter which plan it was, it absolutely did not include Metaphysics.

If the first time he saw the Talisman Paper ignite he thought it was cheating, after watching the livestream behind the monitors for so many days and seeing the contestant break into the work area with his own eyes, the director now believed from the bottom of his heart that the child was truly a Metaphysics Master.

Otherwise, how could they have possibly found this place?!

Originally, he suspected that someone on the inside was helping Lu Jianxing cheat, but after reviewing the footage, he found that they didn’t follow a normal path at all. The production team’s camp was far from the contestants’ activity area, and the mountain roads were difficult. If one took the normal route, they wouldn’t end up here. Yet Qiao Man had walked in a perfectly straight line toward this direction. He climbed when he hit a slope and waded when he hit a river, never turning once. He just charged straight through regardless of whether there was a path or not. Looking only at the process, it was indeed the kind of wilderness survival the show wanted.

It would have been better if his destination hadn’t been here.

And why did the logistics staff have to prepare cola, of all things?

After Qiao Man finished gulping down the cola in his hand, he finally saw Lu Jianxing and the director walking over together.

He couldn’t wait to hold out the snacks beside him. “Xingxing, for you.”

“Where did these snacks come from?”

“A pretty older sister gave them to me,” Qiao Man said happily. “I tasted them first. This milk candy is especially delicious, I saved half for you.”

“Thanks.” Lu Jianxing ruffled his hair before continuing, “The show isn’t over yet. According to the rules, we have to go back and continue the competition until a winner is decided before we can go home.”

“Oh,” Qiao Man said nonchalantly. “That’s fine.”

“I also have to tell you some bad news.”

“What is it?”

The director said seriously, “I have to confiscate your Luo Pan.”

Qiao Man froze. “Why?”

“Can you still use the Luo Pan to find where the finish line is?”

“Yes.”

Just as he thought! The director continued, “Your method of using the Luo Pan to find the way is unfair to the other contestants, so we must confiscate it.”

Qiao Man was puzzled. “You agreed to it at the beginning.”

“There’s a clause in the contract we signed stating that high-tech equipment with functions like positioning and detection cannot be used.” The director coughed. “Your Luo Pan has similar functions. To ensure the fairness of the competition, we must confiscate it. As compensation for the production team’s oversight, you may choose one additional item to bring with you.”

“…”

The Director said, “According to Article 28 of the contract, the production team reserves all rights of final interpretation in the event of special circumstances.”

Qiao Man was a little unhappy.

He looked at Lu Jianxing, hoping Xingxing would speak up for him, but Lu Jianxing only shook his head helplessly.

The child’s cheeks slowly puffed out. He turned around in his chair, leaving the two of them with nothing but the sight of his huffy little back.

The Director: “…”

He shot a look at Lu Jianxing, signaling him to go do some coaxing. Seeing the man remain motionless, the Director pressed his hands together and bowed imploringly toward him.

Think of the appearance fee the show is paying! Please!

Lu Jianxing sighed and began to coax the child. “Xiao Man?”

Qiao Man crossed his arms, huffing and puffing as he ignored him.

Lu Jianxing picked the boy up and turned him to face him, but Qiao Man just squeezed his eyes shut, stubbornly refusing to make eye contact. His lips were pouted out far, his entire face written with displeasure.

“They will take good care of your Luo Pan. They’ll put it in a box where no one can touch it, and they’ll return it to you as soon as the show is over. We can pick out whatever cola you want to drink, and those milk candies you like. You can even bring your tablet to watch cartoons. It’s two items for one, so we aren’t losing out.” Lu Jianxing lowered his head and gently nuzzled the boy’s cheek, mimicking the tone Maomao usually used to soothe the child. “Okay? Xiao Man? Baby?”

“…”

The child’s eyes remained closed, but his eyelids flickered.

Lu Jianxing thought for a moment. “Once we go back, you can have two ice creams a day.”

Usually, he was only allowed one.

Qiao Man’s eyes snapped open. He subconsciously started to grin but tried his best to hold it back. Keeping his little face taut, he said with total solemnity, “Xingxing, you’re not allowed to act so cute next time.”

Lu Jianxing replied, “…Right.”

Qiao Man took the opportunity to set a condition. “I want to eat three.”

Lu Jianxing drew out his name, “Xiao Man-“

Xiao Man immediately swallowed his new condition back into his stomach.

Seeing that he had agreed, the Director breathed a massive sigh of relief. He personally used both hands to place the Luo Pan into a locked box.

Qiao Man sat in Lu Jianxing’s lap, watching the Director carry the box away. Only then did he lean in and whisper into Lu Jianxing’s ear, “Actually, even without the Luo Pan, I can still calculate it.”

Lu Jianxing whispered back just as quietly, “Let’s not tell the Director and the others about that.”

…

Lu Jianxing’s livestream room.

After the broadcast accident occurred, the stream had gone dark, but the number of people online hadn’t decreased. As the video of the incident went viral, the audience grew larger and larger. Even with the screen pitch black, the viewer count exceeded those of the other contestants’ streams.

Therefore, the moment the livestream lit up again, the audience noticed immediately.

[It’s back! It’s back!]

[Finally broadcasting again!]

[Now I truly believe that Wilderness Challenge is real and unscripted. Even the boldest screenwriter wouldn’t dare write something where they shoot themselves in the foot like this.]

[Xingxing, I want to drink cola too…]

[LMAO, don’t even mention cola. I bet everyone on the production staff has a psychological shadow regarding cola now. It really was a disaster triggered by a single bottle of cola.]

[I came here from the trending searches. I heard there’s a five-year-old Master here, is that true?]

[It’s absolutely true. I’ve been following the stream from the start. At first, I thought it was impossible too, but now I declare that Baby Xiao Man is the greatest!]

[So is that stuff real? The Talisman Paper? The fortune-telling? I always thought it was a scam!]

[I still think it’s a bit fake… No matter how you look at it, a five-year-old kid is just too ridiculous. All the Masters my parents know are at least ancient.]

The camera in the livestream room wobbled for a moment before slowly focusing on the two protagonists.

After not being seen for half the day, they had reappeared back in the uninhabited wilderness. Lu Jianxing was skillfully setting up a tent and gathering branches to start a fire.

[Did I travel through time?]

[Is the production team trying to just muddle through this?]

[What about the follow-up results?]

By the time the livestream came back on, it was already night. Once the fire was lit, it was soon time for the contestants to rest.

Lu Jianxing glanced at the camera. During the day, the Director had lent him a phone to go online. The broadcast accident had sparked massive discussions on the internet, so he knew without a doubt that countless people were watching the stream right now.

He took the initiative to explain, “The Director said we’re allowed to continue the competition. To ensure fairness, Xiao Man’s Luo Pan has been confiscated.”

Seeing Lu Jianxing speaking to the camera, Qiao Man pulled a fully charged tablet loaded with cartoons out of his Little Yellow Duck Backpack. He held it up to the camera like a prized treasure. “Look, cartoons!”

Lu Jianxing clarified, “Each contestant is allowed to bring two items. Xiao Man’s Luo Pan was swapped for the tablet.”

Not only that, while the livestream was blacked out, they had taken a shower at the production staff’s camp and mooched a boxed meal¹ from them. It had been beef and potatoes. When it was time to return, the production team had driven them back.

They had also been given a bag of milk candy, but Qiao Man and Lu Jianxing had shared it and finished the whole thing on the way back.

[It just occurred to me… since Xiao Man could use the Luo Pan to find the production team, could he have used it to find the finish line? Holy crap, the competition suddenly lost all its suspense.]

[The Director confiscating the Luo Pan was probably for the sake of fairness to the other contestants… but what’s the use of a tablet? Bringing a tablet to a wilderness survival challenge???]

[To the person above, he can watch cartoons (:з」∠) Don’t forget, even without the Luo Pan, Baby Xiao Man is a survival master. Looking at how hard the other contestants are working to survive, I feel a bit conflicted.]

[I’m floored. I was wondering why the vibe of this group was so different from the others. Turns out they really are here for a spring outing.]

[When I first saw Lu Jianxing bringing a kid onto a survival show, I cursed him for using any means necessary to get attention. Now I just want to say… Lu Jianxing isn’t just babysitting, he brought a literal cheat code!]

That night, before going to sleep, Qiao Man lay in Lu Jianxing’s arms, happily watching two episodes of cartoons on his newly acquired tablet.

Life at the foot of the mountain was wonderful. Not only was there delicious food and fun things to do, but there were also countless cartoons to watch. Qiao Man couldn’t possibly finish them all.

After two episodes, Lu Jianxing took away the tablet. “Alright, time for bed.”

“Okay.”

Qiao Man lay down obediently. Not long after closing his eyes, he lifted his head again and said expectantly, “Xingxing, I want fried chicken again.”

Lu Jianxing: “…”

Lu Jianxing glanced at the camera.

Behind the monitor, the director was equally silent.

The director looked toward the box containing the Luo Pan in a panic. The thing is still in there, right?!

Lu Jianxing covered the boy’s eyes. “Stop thinking about it for now.”

If he kept thinking about it, the director’s hair really wouldn’t survive.

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Translator’s Notes

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1. boxed meal: A translation of ‘hefan’ (盒饭), the Chinese equivalent of a bento or pre-packaged set meal. It typically consists of rice and several side dishes (like the beef and potatoes mentioned) served in a disposable container, and is the standard catering for film crews and office workers in China. ↩