Chapter 45: The Old Cat’s Funeral Wail

Human physical strength has its limits, especially for an older shut-in like Liu Wuyong who hadn’t exercised in years.

Chased by the zombie, he eventually tripped over a small rock and tumbled to the ground.

The livestream was filled with Liu Wuyong’s ragged gasps, blurred and shaking scenery, the sound of a sudden fall, and the extremely unsettling, wheezing rattle of air leaking through a windpipe coming from behind him.

It didn’t feel like watching a livestream anymore. It felt like watching a real clip of a human being hunted by a beast, or perhaps the final footage left behind after someone’s death.

[When we arrived, only this video remained at the scene.jpg]

Because the sense of immersion was so intense, the viewers in the livestream were all staring tensely at the screen. Even the frequency of the scrolling comments had slowed down.

In such a high-tension moment, the audience was truly afraid that a ghost face would suddenly jump out at them. If it really turned out to be such a vulgar, low-level jump scare, they would definitely flame Old Liu to death.

Liu Wuyong had been tripped by the rock and, quite unluckily, landed face-first, splayed out on the ground like the character for¹ ‘big’.

Whether it was a stroke of luck or misfortune, the zombie chasing him launched its attack the moment he fell, lunging forward with a violent pounce.

But because Liu Wuyong had suddenly dropped, the zombie’s leap caught nothing but air. Like a long jumper, it sailed right over him and landed on the empty ground ahead.

Dizzy and disoriented from the fall, Liu Wuyong pushed himself up with his hands, only to see two legs of rotting flesh suddenly appear before his eyes.

The zombie’s sudden appearance in front of him scared Liu Wuyong so much that he scrambled to his feet, but he had accidentally twisted his ankle on the stone earlier. A sharp pain shot through his joint, and he lost his balance, falling back onto his backside.

The zombie, having missed its prey, slowly turned around. The wheezing sound from its throat grew heavier and coarser, as if it had been provoked by Liu Wuyong ‘dodging’ its attack.

Seeing the zombie pounce toward him again, the fallen Liu Wuyong reflexively raised his arms to shield his face.

Thanks to his movement, the livestream audience had the privilege of seeing the zombie’s half-rotted face up close once more.

Looking at that overly abstract face, the viewers who were focused on the stream subconsciously leaned back, frowning as they moved away from their screens.

From the moment Liu Wuyong was chased to his accidental fall and subsequent attack, less than two minutes had passed.

Events were unfolding too rapidly. Seeing that gaping maw full of fangs so close to him, Liu Wuyong’s mind went blank. He didn’t even have time for the legendary life-flashing-before-your-eyes moment to occur.

Just as Liu Wuyong closed his eyes and prepared for death, the expected pain never came.

Was everything in the movies true? Was death actually painless? Or had he already turned into a zombie after being bitten?

Liu Wuyong cautiously opened his eyes and discovered that the zombie that had just attacked him was now standing still like a puppet with its power cut, its mouth agape and its expression vacant.

After a long moment, it wobbled and bypassed him, walking toward the rear.

Watching its movements, Liu Wuyong scrambled on all fours to turn around and look behind him.

Xie Sui hadn’t moved; he was still standing exactly where he had been. His right hand was extended forward, and a bright red liquid dripped from his wrist, gathering into a small puddle of blood on the ground.

Drip, drop. The blood fell to the earth like sand falling through an hourglass.

Over a dozen stiff, dark figures appeared from different directions. They had only one goal: Xie Sui.

Like pilgrims, they advanced toward the deity’s location with slow but steady steps.

Witnessing this scene, although Liu Wuyong hadn’t yet recovered from his panic, he dutifully raised his phone and pointed the camera at Xie Sui.

Liu Wuyong cleared his throat. “Cough. That was just a first-person immersive teaser. Now, the official livestream begins.”

Due to the extreme exertion just now, the hand Liu Wuyong used to hold the phone was trembling slightly.

He struggled to stand up and limped toward the tripod lying on the ground, providing a voiceover for the stream as he walked.

“Welcome to the Appraising Popular Supernatural Entities livestream. Before you is the host, Xie Sui. Since the host is a bit occupied right now, I’ll be helping with the commentary.”

Liu Wuyong’s brain worked at high speed, trying to recall supernatural incidents related to zombies. Finally, he settled on a horror video he had watched during the day.

“Today, what we’re going to appraise is Xiangxi Corpse Driving².”

Liu Wuyong set the tripod back up, snapped his phone back into place, and then turned on the fill light provided by the production crew.

Although the light didn’t have much range and could only illuminate a general area at this distance, it was better than nothing.

Liu Wuyong didn’t dare get too close, fearing those zombies might turn around and pounce on him again.

The dozen or so zombies had already reached Xie Sui. They struggled to move their stiff joints, slowly kneeling down to lick the blood on the ground. Xie Sui didn’t seem to find it dirty, placing his hand directly on the head of the zombie closest to him.

Liu Wuyong worked to adjust the phone’s angle. What the livestream audience saw was a scene that looked like an unknown, mysterious ritual.

The empty wasteland in the middle of the night carried an indescribable sense of desolation. In the distance, the wind rustled the leaves of the dense forest. The sound of friction combined with the chirping of birds and insects created a background noise that sounded like a chaotic, nameless murmur.

Under the night sky, the faint light from a distance made Xie Sui appear hazy and soft. Although the light was too dim to see his features clearly, one could sense a kind of compassion from his lowered eyes – like a merciful deity. As long as one worshipped him, no matter how filthy or decayed the soul, it would be accepted unconditionally and find salvation through him.

[He’s really… I’m crying my eyes out.]

[The streamer is going too hard. Where did he find so many zombies… I mean, where did he find so many stunt actors?]

[Damn, I feel for the streamer. It’s so hard to come up with new content in this competitive streaming environment that they’ve started using blood to lure zombie… special effects makeup actors.]

[I hope it’s fake. If it’s real, I’m calling the police. Just looking at so many zombies gives me the creeps. If you let them wander off, streamer, just wait for your account to be banned.]

Xie Sui placed his hand on a zombie’s head, simply using it to perceive the location of the Old Cat Spirit who was controlling the corpses.

His earlier suspicion was correct; these corpses weren’t legitimate zombies, they weren’t even White Zombies³. Not only could their joints move freely, but their physical strength was pathetic – these were just ordinary rotting corpses whose bodies had been reinforced by sorcery and controlled by someone else.

He had thought as much. A Corpse-Nurturing Land required many harsh conditions to form; how could one appear in this tiny, broken village, and so coincidentally be encountered by them?

While using Xie Sui’s phone to film, Liu Wuyong took out his own phone to watch the stream.

When he saw the bullet comment about calling the police, Liu Wuyong felt he should say something.

He looked at Xie Sui, who was still touching the zombie’s skull.

Lacking mind-reading skills and unable to understand Xie Sui’s thoughts, Liu Wuyong could only narrate based on what he saw. He began racking his brain to make up lines: “Uh… well, legend has it that zombies can’t bend their knees and can only move by hopping. Look at our zombie actors; under the streamer’s instructions, they’ve all cooperatively knelt down, so it’s definitely not real.”

“Rest assured, we won’t do anything illegal or disturb social order. You’ve watched my videos for so long, don’t you know my routine? I, Horror Old Liu, just piggyback on supernatural trends to attract traffic. We must believe in science; there are no ghosts in this world.”

[Old Liu, listen to what you’re saying. Do you even believe it yourself?]

[So what does this have to do with the Xiangxi Corpse Driving you mentioned? How are you going to appraise that the corpse driving is fake?]

[Old Liu, are you and the streamer in Xiangxi right now? What a coincidence, I’m in Xiangxi too. Where are you streaming? Can I come take a look?]

Liu Wuyong wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.

The whole Xiangxi Corpse Driving thing was something he had made up in the heat of the moment. They were still circling around Zhaoping City and weren’t in Xiangxi at all.

Making up lines on the fly really exhausted his brain cells. He truly admired those streamers who could rattle off catchy phrases and easily liven up the atmosphere… It was precisely because Old Liu wasn’t good at talking nonsense that he always filmed videos and never streamed.

Liu Wuyong bit the bullet and continued: “Uh, it’s not about appraising that corpse driving is fake; corpse driving does indeed exist. What I mean is, the corpses don’t actually jump on their own. Instead, two corpse drivers carry the body with a bamboo pole. Because the pole is flexible and bounces up and down, it looks like the corpse is jumping… There are actually very few real zombies in this world.”

The live footage didn’t match the commentary. Liu Wuyong felt like one of those clickbait marketing accounts that ‘starts with one picture and makes up the rest.’

[So what does this have to do with the streamer gathering a bunch of zombies and playing with their heads? Is the streamer planning to perform a corpse drive for us?]

Looking at the skeptical bullet comments, Liu Wuyong completely lost his temper.

With dead-fish eyes, he said listlessly: “Just pretend I didn’t say anything just now. Let’s start over. Cough, welcome to the Appraising Popular Supernatural Entities stream. We are currently preparing to film a zombie movie, and now the streamer and actors in special effects makeup will demonstrate some clips for us.”

[Good grief, he’s completely given up.]

[I’ll just ignore the performance you’re trying to put on.]

[I don’t believe a word of it. This is clearly a broadcast accident. These zombies appeared suddenly during the stream, right? Otherwise, why would the streamer let an inexperienced guy like Old Liu handle the broadcast?]

Unlike the veterans used to Liu Wuyong’s tricks, the fans who had just come over from Miao Xinyi’s stream happened to hear Old Liu’s words and all breathed a sigh of relief.

[Just came from Sister Xinyi’s side. Now I finally know what’s going on with that terrifying zombie.]

[They really are special effects makeup actors. I was scared to death during Sister’s stream just now. The one that appeared behind Sister must have been a lost zombie actor.]

[Yeah, if it were a real zombie, it couldn’t possibly not attack humans. How could it stand behind Sister for so long?]

Seeing the bullet comments becoming more and more chaotic, Liu Wuyong simply stopped narrating and quietly acted as the camera stand.

The more he said, the more mistakes he made; he’d just let the viewers guess for themselves. Anyway, even if they were reported, given how remote this small village was, by the time the Law Enforcement Team arrived, they would have finished everything on their end.

Xie Sui had already sensed the Old Cat Spirit’s location through the aura on these rotting corpses.

However, he wasn’t in a hurry to give chase. Instead, while the zombies were still scrambling for the blood on the ground, he systematically dislocated all of their limbs one by one.

Only after dealing with these zombies could he go find the Old Cat Spirit with peace of mind.

Xie Sui was mainly afraid that after he left, these zombies would once again lose control and rush into the village to harm people.

Even if they wanted to harm people, they had to be able to catch them first. Without their limbs, these zombies could only squirm on the ground, and even an ordinary person could easily avoid them.

[…The scene suddenly went from heartwarming to a bit terrifying.]

[One moment it was a compassionate head pat, the next it’s direct dismemberment. The streamer is so brutal.]

[The streamer is so skilled at removing arms and legs, it doesn’t look like acting.]

[Old Liu, don’t stay silent. I know you’re watching. You call this a stunt actor?]

Liu Wuyong read out in a flat, expressionless voice: “It’s an effect created by holographic projection plus special effects makeup.”

[I don’t believe it. I’m going to report you.]

[Person above, don’t take it too seriously. Just watch for fun when you don’t know if it’s true or false. Anyway, even if it’s real, we’re not the ones in danger. Besides, if you make a false police report and the circumstances are serious, you can be detained for 5 to 10 days and fined 500 yuan. Don’t ask me how I know.]

Looking at those two comments, Liu Wuyong added one more sentence in a tone that suggested he didn’t care about the consequences: “If the report is unfounded, we will also seek compensation from the reporter for the economic losses caused by the temporary suspension of our account.”

Liu Wuyong had immense confidence in Xie Sui’s strength. He believed his boss could absolutely handle everything before the Law Enforcement Team arrived.

Xie Sui himself lacked such confidence. He had no idea where Old Liu’s thick rose-tinted glasses came from.

He looked at the messy piles of severed limbs on the ground, then at the unidentified slime sticking to his palm mixed with dirt and minced meat. His expression was one of pure disgust.

There would be plenty of work to do once this was over. He had to put these corpses back into the cemetery… and if he couldn’t find their original graves, he’d have to dig new pits himself. It looked like he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

Just as Xie Sui was about to enter the woods to find the Old Cat Spirit, a familiar suona horn suddenly blared nearby.

Xie Sui paused mid-step and turned toward the sound.

Seeing Xie Sui’s movement, Liu Wuyong followed suit, panning the phone camera.

A wedding procession of rats⁴ dressed in red, carrying a sedan chair, suddenly appeared. They wobbled out from the village, slowly approaching Xie Sui and the others.

Again?

Xie Sui frowned instinctively. He couldn’t quite understand what these rats were trying to do.

The large grey rats carrying the sedan chair were also startled when they saw Xie Sui was there.

They hadn’t come for Xie Sui; they had simply run into him by chance.

The one they were actually looking for was the Old Cat Spirit.

The behavior of “The Rat’s Wedding” was a result of the hero-worshiping psychology of rats that had just gained sentience but had not yet developed much power. It could also be seen as a desperate sacrifice made to save their own lives.

From the very beginning, they had intended to marry their daughter to the Old Cat Spirit. It had nothing to do with Xie Sui.

The reason these rats had sought him out when he was just falling asleep earlier this morning was because the One-Eyed Five Gentlemen, who had eaten the Old Cat Spirit, were hiding in Xie Sui’s shadow. He was stained with the Old Cat Spirit’s scent.

Coupled with the fact that Xie Sui’s own Yin Energy was very heavy, the rats had mistaken him for a corpse controlled by the Old Cat Spirit.

When the Old Cat Spirit first entered the village, the rats sensed its presence. Terrified that the Old Cat Spirit would devour their entire clan, their not-so-bright little brains came up with the idea of marrying their daughter to it.

As long as they became in-laws, the Old Cat Spirit surely wouldn’t hurt them, right?

This bizarre wedding procession was closer to Liu Wuyong’s position, so he captured it perfectly on the livestream.

“Holy crap! Are these giant grey rats special effects too?”

“Old Liu is amazing. To be able to create this kind of holographic projection, even the shadows on the ground are there.”

“Is it possible that… forget it, you guys keep lying to yourselves. Anyway, I believe it. The more I watch this streamer, the more I believe there are ghosts in this world.”

“Plus one. I’m afraid to go out at night now. Not because I’m scared of bad people, but purely because I’m scared of meeting a ghost.”

After the zombie left, curiosity got the better of Miao Xinyi, and she stopped her makeup removal livestream. She borrowed her assistant’s phone to find Xie Sui’s channel, starting a “stream-within-a-stream” mode where she broadcasted herself watching Xie Sui.

Seeing the “special effects” filled scenes in Xie Sui’s livestream, Miao Xinyi felt a bit bitter.

As expected of someone with a powerful background. Even an insignificant livestream would be heavily promoted by the production team. No one else had special effects from the crew, only Xie Sui did. It was blatant favoritism.

If Xie Sui knew what Miao Xinyi was thinking, he would probably say, “Whoever wants this kind of favoritism can have it.”

These days, it was just too hard to earn a bit of money.

Because he had just used his blood to lure the zombie, Xie Sui had once again lost too much blood, and his mood had plummeted to rock bottom. He just wanted to quickly deal with that troublemaking Old Cat Spirit, but he hadn’t expected this group of rats to suddenly pop up… Was he having a run of bad luck with animals lately?

Seeing Xie Sui staring at them with an unfriendly gaze, the rat leading the group with the gongs trembled. It couldn’t move forward or backward, freezing in place.

“Actually, we’re just passing through,” the lead rat said in a tiny voice.

Xie Sui didn’t care if they were passing through or not. Since they were here, they weren’t leaving. He didn’t dare take any risks now. There were so many ordinary people in the village, and who knew how dangerous these rats were.

After this ordeal, he absolutely refused to underestimate the sheer bad luck of this cursed production crew.

However, before Xie Sui could make a move, another sound came from the nearby woods – a low, elderly wail.

An old man dressed in mourning clothes suddenly walked out of the dense forest.

He wore a pointed hat made of sackcloth and a white robe that was exceptionally conspicuous in the dark night.

Xie Sui was surprised.

That mourning old man looked exactly like the paper effigy old man used by Chef Shao in the restaurant.

It was the Old Cat Spirit… It had actually come out on its own. Was it no longer afraid of the One-Eyed Five Gentlemen on him?

the rats also noticed the Old Cat Spirit’s presence. The team of red-clad rats acted as if they had seen a long-lost relative, sprinting toward it while carrying their instruments and the sedan chair.

The old man’s attention had been entirely on Xie Sui, but seeing a swarm of rats suddenly rushing toward him, he paused.

Before the lead rat could speak, the old man’s wailing stopped instantly. He stared at the rats, a greedy green light flashing in his eyes. Then, he arched his back and pounced into the swarm.

The old man acted as if he had been starving for a long time. He grabbed the rats from the ground, stuffing them into his mouth one by one. He didn’t even spare the little white rat inside the sedan chair.

A tooth-aching “crunch, crunch” sound of bones being chewed echoed from the old man’s bulging mouth, mixed with the faint, miserable squeaks of the rats. Dark red fluid overflowed from the corners of his mouth, staining the front of his white mourning robe.

As the wedding rats were devoured by the Old Cat Spirit, the scattered items on the ground, like the sedan chair and suona horns, slowly turned back into small sticks and stones.

“That old grandpa is so dedicated, eating rats with his bare mouth… barf.”

“So hardcore. To be able to pull off such a stunt, the streamer deserves to make money.”

“Thanks, I really shouldn’t have been eating a late-night snack while watching this stream. The fried chicken I just ordered suddenly doesn’t smell so good anymore.”

“Eating snacks while watching a horror stream? The person above is a true warrior.”

The Old Cat Spirit swallowed the mouse in his mouth and crudely wiped his lips with his white sleeve.

He flashed a sinister, eerie smile at Xie Sui, bits of bright red flesh still caught between his teeth. “You should regret what you’ve done. If you don’t resist, I’ll give you a quick death.”

It was unclear where he had found such courage. The Old Cat Spirit, who had previously only dared to hide behind the scenes and manipulate corpses, had suddenly become exceptionally arrogant.

“Be a good boy and let me eat you. Go and be buried with my wife and children.”

Translator’s Notes