Chapter 44

Sometimes, I feel like…

I’m in a relationship with a man.

—Zhang Lurang

Zhang Lurang’s expression was cold as he crumpled the paper in his hand into a ball and tossed it into the trash can beside him.

He quickly went downstairs and headed to the academic affairs office on the second floor.

Inside, two students were in line, waiting to amend their college applications.

Zhang Lurang halted his steps and stood to the side, waiting.

He took out his phone and pulled up a photo from his album.

It was the confirmation page from when he had submitted his college application online, which he had taken a picture of and sent to Su Zai Zai.

Soon, one of the students finished making their changes and walked out with a newly printed form in hand.

Zhang Lurang stepped forward as the teacher in charge opened the website for him.

He bent down and carefully entered his exam registration number and password.

When he pressed the enter key, his palms were sweating from nervousness, and his Adam’s apple bobbed instinctively.

Login successful. He was in.

Zhang Lurang let out a quiet sigh of relief and quickly followed the reference photo on his phone to modify his application choices.

After filling it out, he patiently checked everything two or three times before confirming.

The teacher moved the mouse, glanced at the screen, and asked, “Are you sure this time?”

Zhang Lurang nodded, then suddenly asked, “Teacher, after I sign the form, can I still make changes to my application?”

The teacher was about to print out the application form but immediately paused upon hearing this, frowning. “Of course not. Haven’t you made up your mind yet?”

Upon receiving a definitive answer, Zhang Lurang finally felt at ease and thanked the teacher softly.

“Yes, I’ve made up my mind. Thank you.”

He signed the form and submitted it to his homeroom teacher.

Leaving the office, Zhang Lurang stood outside for a while.

After a long moment, he snapped out of it and walked toward the school gate.

Since there was no fixed time to sign the forms, students were coming in at their own pace.

B High was near the sea, and along the long stone path, a few students passed by from time to time, their faces filled with cheerful smiles.

Beyond the railing, the sea waves crashed against the stone bridge below, making rhythmic splashing sounds.

Zhang Lurang suddenly stopped and leaned on the railing with one hand.

He pulled out his phone and called Zhang Luli.

When Zhang Luli picked up the call again, his voice was still full of excitement.

“Hello? Bro! Do you need me to do anything else?”

Zhang Lurang lowered his gaze to the waves beneath him and was silent for a moment.

After thinking for a bit, he asked in a soft voice, “Did Mom and Dad change your college application?”

Zhang Luli hesitated for a second before obediently answering.

“They filled out my application for me.”

“…”

“But back then, I actually really wanted to choose clinical medicine at T University,” Zhang Luli said with a bright laugh. “They wouldn’t let me, so I just let it go.”

After rambling for a while, Zhang Luli suddenly realized something. “Bro, did they change yours?”

Zhang Lurang’s fingertips tapped unconsciously on the railing.

Hearing that, he responded indifferently, “Yeah. I’m hanging up now.”

Upon receiving a confirmation, Zhang Luli’s voice became anxious.

“Did you change it back? Can the school still make changes? Wasn’t yesterday the deadline…”

“A’Li,” Zhang Lurang’s lips curved slightly, and he spoke slowly, “I won’t be coming back. To B City.”

The other end of the line went silent, then quickly responded with a quiet “Oh.”

Zhang Lurang ended the call.

He stood there in a daze for a while before he couldn’t resist calling his mother.

“Hello, A’Rang?”

Zhang Lurang asked coolly, “Did you change my application?”

His mother seemed momentarily taken aback but quickly explained, “Z University is too far from home. When you went to study in Z City during high school, I worried about you every single day…”

Zhang Lurang cut her off.

“I told you I wanted to go there.”

Perhaps irritated by his resistance, his mother’s tone grew colder.

“Think about it—you’ll graduate from B University and go straight to work at your father’s company. We’ve paved the perfect path for you. Everything we do is for your own good.”

But Zhang Lurang wasn’t listening anymore.

His eyes were like a stagnant pool of water, devoid of ripples.

“I changed it back.”

The breathing on the other end of the line faltered.

Then, his mother’s voice suddenly turned sharp. “How did you change it? Wasn’t yesterday the deadline?”

Hearing that, Zhang Lurang suddenly understood something.

He felt relieved yet mocked himself as he asked, “Do you even know why I came home?”

His sudden question confused his mother.

“Do you need a reason to come home?”

Zhang Lurang didn’t reply.

Before hanging up, he recalled the fruit platter from yesterday.

His fingers tightened around the railing, and his voice carried the tone of a child—both accusatory and aggrieved, yet not truly caring.

“A’Li is the one who likes oranges.”

Zhang Lurang stood in place for a while.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out his house key, and thought carefully.

He thought for a long time but couldn’t find a single reason to return to that home.

Raising his hand, he flipped it over.

The key fell into the sea.

Lightly, silently—

Sinking to the very depths.

—

Zhang Lurang never doubted that his parents loved him.

It was just that, compared to what they gave Zhang Luli, the love they gave him was a little less.

But he had always believed—

The love was there. Just not as much as he had hoped for.

After landing, Zhang Lurang walked out of the airport’s arrival gate.

Out of instinct, he scanned the area and immediately spotted Su Zai Zai waiting outside, holding her phone.

Zhang Lurang was momentarily stunned before striding toward her.

Su Zai Zai noticed him at the same time and excitedly waved.

She completely ignored the fact that she had asked for his flight number earlier, pretending it was a surprise.

“Aren’t you touched? I’ve been waiting for so long!”

At that moment—the moment he saw her.

Zhang Lurang felt as if the hollow space in his heart was suddenly filled.

He couldn’t help but drop the bag in his hand, bend down, and pull her into his arms.

His cheek rested against the crook of her neck, his warm breath falling against her skin in an erratic rhythm.

Su Zai Zai felt ticklish and instinctively shifted, but he immediately pulled her back.

Suddenly, she panicked a little and pushed him away.

“Let me check first—did I recognize the wrong person?”

Zhang Lurang: “……”

Feeling the abrupt stillness in his chest, Su Zai Zai quickly grinned. “How could I mistake you? You’re so easy to trick.”

The pink, romantic atmosphere was instantly blown away by her words.

He let go of her, lifted his head, and looked down at her.

There was a hint of gloom in Zhang Lurang’s gaze. For some reason, he even looked a little aggrieved.

Su Zai Zai couldn’t resist her impulse and reached up to poke his cheek.

She stared at him for a while before earnestly declaring, “What a breathtakingly beautiful man.”

Zhang Lurang silently picked up his luggage from the ground and held her hand as they walked out.

Halfway there, Su Zai Zai asked again, “You still haven’t told me—are you touched?”

Hearing this, Zhang Lurang turned to glance at her.

His lips curved slightly as he responded seriously and obediently, “Very touched.”

They walked a little further.

Zhang Lurang suddenly spoke, as if making a casual remark.

“From now on, I’ll stay in Z City. I won’t go back.”

Before Su Zai Zai could say anything, he continued, “My parents don’t like me.”

If the love they gave him came at the cost of binding his freedom—

Then Zhang Lurang would rather not have it.

Su Zai Zai instinctively tightened her grip on his hand and looked at him.

She didn’t know what to say.

To her, “home” was a beautiful word.

Because Su Zai Zai had a happy family—her parents were loving and harmonious, and they adored her.

She had never experienced such troubles.

Beside her, Zhang Lurang suddenly said in all seriousness, “When we graduate from college, I’ll propose to you. Okay?”

Then, they could build another home.

A home that belonged to just the two of them.

A home that could make up for the love he had lacked.

Su Zai Zai’s breath hitched, and a feeling of stunned delight surged from the depths of her heart.

But her instinctive response was to reject him. “No.”

Zhang Lurang froze.

Then, he suddenly recalled something she had said to him before—

“Are you trying to play with me?”

The memory made his expression turn ugly in an instant.

He gritted his teeth, trying to recall all the sweet words he had seen on Weibo, just about to say them to coax her—

Only to hear her say:

“This kind of thing… let me do it.”

“……”

With that one sentence, all the romantic words he had been about to say were instantly swallowed back down.