Chapter 10: Lecherous Ghost¹!

Can He’s eyes flew wide open as he shoved the man in front of him away with all his strength, his voice brimming with irritation. “I don’t want to talk to you at all today!”

Qi Jiangyuan obligingly let go of his waist, though the Soul Threads still clung tenderly to Can He’s sleeve, refusing to part.

Can He felt a chill crawl across his scalp. He hurriedly grabbed the teacup beside him and gulped it down in one go, trying to smother the restless stirrings in his chest.

But Qi Jiangyuan, sitting beside him, kept his gaze locked on him without so much as a blink.

So annoying!

The radish leaves—visible only to Can He—curled and unfurled uncontrollably, over and over again. His root tendrils were a tangled mess, knotted beyond recognition.

“You’re still staring at me!” Can He raised his voice, trying hard to sound fierce. “Keep staring and I’ll really get mad!”

But the tips of his ears were quietly turning red.

Qi Jiangyuan let out a soft chuckle and, as if indulging him, finally looked away.

Can He felt even more stifled.

With a hint of misplaced frustration, the little radish haphazardly gathered up the Spirit Tablet and other scattered items. Yet Qi Jiangyuan’s words kept echoing in his mind, and for some reason, he found himself regretting how decisively he had pushed the ghost away.

Damn it, he must’ve been affected by Qi Jiangyuan’s Yin Qi!

Can He ignored him, huffing and puffing as he washed up, huffing and puffing as he climbed into bed.

And in the end, still huffing and puffing, he burrowed into Qi Jiangyuan’s arms, curling into a comfortable position to sleep.

The next day, Can He resumed his efforts to find a cure for Qi Jiangyuan’s illness.

The diligent little radish spent the entire day holed up in the Library Pavilion. The Ghost Master, as usual, wore a stone-cold expression and made sure to hide his newly acquired ruler even deeper.

Seeing how scared he was, Can He deliberately leaned in closer, pestering the Ghost Master with endless questions.

By afternoon, Qi Jiangyuan would appear at the Library Pavilion right on schedule.

By then, Can He had usually reverted to his original form, sprawled out atop a pile of books, fast asleep.

Qi Jiangyuan would skillfully brush aside the books covering him, dig out the warm, dozing radish, tuck him into his sleeve, and carry him back to the bedchamber.

And so, day after day passed in this leisurely rhythm, until at last, Can He found what he’d been searching for.

The yellowed pages of the book stated that Spirit Tablets used to honor the dead must be made of Lightning-struck Wood. Ordinary wood was useless.

In addition, one had to follow ancient rites to set up an altar and offer sincere worship.

If the incense offerings continued without end, the spirit being honored could not only remain in the world but also receive a sliver of protection from the Heavenly Dao, lessening the torment of the Heavenly Tribulation.

So, as long as he found Lightning-struck Wood and followed the book’s instructions to set up the altar, Qi Jiangyuan wouldn’t have to die!

Can He’s heart burned with excitement. He quickly copied down the key details with meticulous care, then rushed off to find Xie Suoyan without delay.

He found Xie Suoyan in the herb garden, looking visibly anxious.

The man was bent over, practically lying on the ground, rummaging through the herbs while muttering to himself.

“What are you looking for?” Can He hopped over and patted him on the shoulder.

Xie Suoyan jumped in fright, clutching his chest, his face full of worry. “I’m looking for my little horse.”

“I dropped it from my sleeve pocket this morning while watering the Spiritual Plants, and now I can’t find it anywhere.”

Can He remembered—it was that little trinket Xie Suoyan had pulled from his sleeve the other day, palm-sized, exquisitely made and adorable.

Seeing the sweat beading on his forehead, Can He thought for a moment and said, “I’ll help you look.”

With that, he stepped to a nearby patch of open ground. His figure blurred, and he transformed into a plump white radish, diving headfirst into the soil.

His fine root tendrils quickly scanned the surroundings. In just a short while, he sensed the small object beneath a clump of weeds not far away.

The little radish wriggled out of the dirt, then huffed and puffed his way into the weed patch, dragging out the mud-streaked little horse. “Is this it?”

Xie Suoyan’s eyes lit up as he practically lunged forward. “Finally!”

He bent down to pick it up. Can He returned to human form, brushing grass and dirt from his clothes.

When he looked up, he saw Xie Suoyan’s eyes rimmed with red from emotion, gently caressing the little horse as he murmured, “Thank goodness I didn’t lose it. This thing is my lifeblood²…”

Can He immediately misunderstood, his expression turning wary.

Xie Suoyan quickly added, “…Not that kind of lifeblood. I died with my body intact, thank you very much!”

Can He finally relaxed.

But the next moment, to his horror, he watched as Xie Suoyan pulled out his long, limp tongue and, like a rag, carefully licked the mud off the little horse until it gleamed.

Can He: …

Utterly grossed out, the little radish silently turned away and walked over to the vat of Longevity Ruins water, scrubbing his hands with all his might.

“What pressing matter brings Little Highness to me?” Xie Suoyan asked, thoroughly satisfied as he tucked the little wooden horse back into his sleeve pouch.

Can He rubbed his reddened hands before stopping, mumbling, “I’m looking for Lightning-struck Wood. Do you know where I can buy some?”

“Lightning-struck Wood? What do you need that for?”

“None of your business.” Can He waved him off and gestured with his hands. “Just needs to be big enough to make a Spirit Tablet.”

“That size of Lightning-struck Wood is hard to come by…” Xie Suoyan thought for a moment, then said, “You might try your luck at the Ghost Market. But you’ll need to be careful—these days, some unscrupulous ghosts use Lightning-Attracting Talismans to strike trees and then pass them off as naturally struck wood!”

At the thought, Xie Suoyan nearly fainted from rage. “When I first entered the Ghost Realm, I got swindled by a con-ghost! Claimed it was genuine Lightning-struck Wood, naturally fallen after being hit by heavenly lightning. Just a tiny piece, and I paid a fortune to make a Spirit Tablet with it. And guess what? That wood hadn’t even been hit with a Lightning-Attracting Talisman—it was just burned with regular fire! Fire, I tell you!”

Can He let out a curious “Huh?” and sensed something was off. “Then what did you end up using for your Spirit Tablet?”

Xie Suoyan looked miserable. “What else? Just made do with regular wood.”

Regular wood actually works?

Can He was skeptical. He’d tested ordinary wood on Qi Jiangyuan just a few days ago—there hadn’t been the slightest reaction.

“These days, who can afford real Lightning-struck Wood for a Spirit Tablet? It’s too extravagant,” Xie Suoyan said. “Everyone just uses regular wood and muddles through. As long as the heart is sincere, the spirit will respond…”

Can He fell into thought.

But ordinary wood was completely useless for Qi Jiangyuan.

Could it be that, because he was the Ghost King, the requirements were higher and only the real thing would do?

What a difficult one to please…

“So you’re making a Spirit Tablet for yourself?” Xie Suoyan suddenly caught on, his face going pale with shock.

The Highness and Little Highness are moving fast—already at the point of life and death vows?

Can He gave a dismissive snort. “Of course not.”

Having gotten the information he needed, he turned and bolted.

Xie Suoyan scratched his head in confusion. Just as he was about to leave, his gaze casually swept across the herb garden—and suddenly froze.

He tended this place daily, yet only now did he notice that the small patch near where Can He often lingered had a few Spiritual Plants that had once been crowded and drooping. Now, they were lush and vibrant, brimming with spiritual energy.

A stark contrast to the sparse and struggling growth in the rest of the garden.

How strange…

…

Come to think of it, Can He had been in the Ghost Realm for quite some time now, but his movements were mostly confined to Wujian Prison.

This was his first time venturing out, and Can He was brimming with excitement at the thought of going on an outing with Qi Jiangyuan.

He burst back into the sleeping quarters like a whirlwind of radish, flinging himself onto Qi Jiangyuan and wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. “Your Highness, take me to the Ghost Market, please?”

Assaulted by a sudden radish, Qi Jiangyuan didn’t budge an inch. He gently supported him to keep him from falling. “You want to go to the Ghost Market?”

Can He nodded vigorously, his chin rubbing against Qi Jiangyuan’s shoulder. “Mhm! I bet it’s super lively there! Take me, please—”

“That’s not exactly a wholesome place,” Qi Jiangyuan said.

Can He blinked in confusion. “Why do you say that?”

“There’s no such thing as a clean place in the Ghost Realm,” Qi Jiangyuan said coolly. “Humans, demons, and ghosts all enter with their desires magnified. Most of what goes on there are shady, under-the-table deals—chaotic and filthy.”

For this pure-hearted Little Radish, it really wasn’t the most welcoming environment.

Can He fluttered his eyes. “Is it scary in there?”

“Not exactly scary,” Qi Jiangyuan tilted his head slightly. “But I’m afraid if you go, some nasty ghost might swallow you whole.”

Can He tightened his arms around him, then said after a moment’s thought, “Even so, I still want to go.”

He needed to find Lightning-struck Wood!

No matter how shady the Ghost Market was, it was still Qi Jiangyuan’s territory. No ghost in the world was scarier than the Ghost King.

And so what if they ate ginseng? Back in the Longevity Ruins, he used to chase after other little ginsengs and nibble on their roots like snacks!

Want to eat him? Better think twice about whether you’ve got the strength!

Worried Qi Jiangyuan might refuse, he let go and gently tugged at his sleeve, swaying it back and forth. “I really want to go with you and see it together.”

Qi Jiangyuan let out a silent sigh. So that’s what this is about—he just wants to go sightseeing with me…

“Alright.”

Qi Jiangyuan looked into Can He’s suddenly radiant eyes and added slowly, “But the Ghost Market only opens during the ‘Three Shadows³‘—when the sun doesn’t shine, the moon doesn’t shine, and no lamps shine… The next one won’t be until next year.”

Next year?!

Can He was stunned. “Why does it take so long?”

He could wait patiently if he had to, but the real issue was Qi Jiangyuan—would he still be around next year?

Little Radish snuck a glance at him. Over the past few days, thanks to nourishing the evil spirit each night, Qi Jiangyuan had indeed gained a faint trace of vitality. He no longer looked as lifeless as before.

However, that sliver of vitality was unstable. If Little Radish wasn’t by Qi Jiangyuan’s side for even a day, his condition would revert by the next morning.

“But…” Qi Jiangyuan paused in thought. “If you truly want to go, I can issue a command to reopen the Ghost Market just for you.”

Little Radish’s eyes lit up again. “Really?”

“Of course,” Qi Jiangyuan nodded. He never made a losing deal. “But suddenly reopening the Ghost Market takes a great toll. I’ll need something in return.”

Can He quickly asked, “What do you want?”

Seeing how eager he was, Qi Jiangyuan suddenly recalled Can He’s original form—a plump, adorable white radish, with a few tender green leaves on top that were especially enticing to spirits.

“Let me touch your leaves,” Qi Jiangyuan said, his gaze falling to the top of Can He’s head, as if he could already see that fresh, dewy green. “Is that alright?”

Just touching the leaves?

That request was way too easy!

Without hesitation, Can He gave a little shake and transformed atop the desk into a palm-sized white radish, a few plump, glistening leaves standing proudly on his head.

He scooted forward and nudged the thickest leaf into Qi Jiangyuan’s palm.

“Here, you can touch.”

Qi Jiangyuan chuckled softly, gently pinching a leaf between his fingers.

Can He flinched instinctively but forced himself to stay still. Instead, he leaned in even closer. “Do you… want to touch the other ones too?”

Qi Jiangyuan let out a low laugh, sounding almost helpless. “Are you this defenseless around other spirits too?”

Can He thought to himself, Who else in the three realms would dare touch my vegetable leaves besides you?

They’d have been kicked halfway across the heavens by now.

But those cool fingertips slowly slid down the leaf stem, and a powerful shiver surged through Can He’s senses.

Little Radish went stiff all over, nearly toppling over in Qi Jiangyuan’s palm.

…Something felt off.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly… A strange tingling warmth spread through Can He’s body, making his legs feel weak.

In a small, trembling voice, he whimpered, “Are you… done touching yet?”

Only then did Qi Jiangyuan slowly release his hand.

Little Radish gave his head a shake, hurriedly smoothing out the leaves that had been tousled. His movements were flustered and clumsy.

He was just about to return to human form when Qi Jiangyuan spoke again. “Can I… touch other places too?”

Can He felt something was off, but couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Being a simple radish, he gave up trying to figure it out and leapt into Qi Jiangyuan’s palm, throwing caution to the wind. “Go ahead.”

He regretted it almost immediately.

Qi Jiangyuan’s touch wasn’t inappropriate—on the contrary, it was surprisingly gentle.

Perhaps because he had wielded a sword for many years in life, the pads of his fingers were calloused. When that rough texture brushed against Can He’s smooth surface, it sent waves of ticklish sensation straight to his core.

The palm-sized Little Radish trembled slightly in Qi Jiangyuan’s hand, completely silent.

Then Qi Jiangyuan brought his other hand up, cupping him entirely. That was the last straw.

A flash of light, and Little Radish vanished.

In his place appeared a teenage boy, who, propelled by momentum, crashed into the seated Qi Jiangyuan, knocking them both backward into the depths of the chair.

Qi Jiangyuan instinctively caught him by the waist—it was so slender and soft, barely a handful.

Can He’s loose hair brushed against Qi Jiangyuan’s throat, tickling slightly. Qi Jiangyuan looked up and saw the boy’s flushed cheeks, the corners of his eyes tinged with a vivid red. His beautiful eyes shimmered with moisture, full of flustered indignation—lively and captivating.

So beautiful, it made the evil spirit want to devour him whole.

“You messing with me?” Can He’s breath was unsteady, his voice soft and sticky with anger.

One touch was enough—why did you keep going? And… and touch like that!

Qi Jiangyuan’s expression didn’t change. “What did I do?”

He actually had the nerve to ask!

Can He was both furious and embarrassed. He shoved at Qi Jiangyuan’s chest, only to find his waist still firmly held.

Not only did he fail to push Qi Jiangyuan away, the recoil sent him even deeper into the man’s arms. Their bodies were pressed so close, not even air could pass between them. He could even feel Qi Jiangyuan’s unnaturally cold body temperature.

Can He’s breathing grew erratic. He glared at him, annoyed. “You’ve touched enough now, right? Can we reopen the Ghost Market?”

Qi Jiangyuan tightened his arms around him, his gaze fixed on Can He’s glistening lips. “Not yet.”

“Then… then what else do you want?” Can He’s heart trembled under his stare.

Qi Jiangyuan’s eyes slowly drifted upward, landing on his flushed cheeks. “Can I pinch your face?”

Can He was so shocked he couldn’t speak.

How could he keep pushing his luck like this?!

Fury flared in the boy’s chest. He lowered his head and slammed it hard into Qi Jiangyuan’s chest!

Radish assault!

“Ugh…” Qi Jiangyuan let out a muffled grunt, trying to suppress the pain.

The hit came out of nowhere and packed a punch. Even for him, it made his chest churn slightly with disrupted Qi and blood.

Can He flipped off him with practiced ease, landing a few steps away. He glared at Qi Jiangyuan, teeth clenched, and spat out a trembling accusation through gritted teeth:

“Pervert!”

Author’s note:

Ghost Bro only gets to eat radish because the radish likes Ghost Bro too.

Translator’s Notes