Chapter 7

Since Song Shuqi had put it that way, Qiao Yanli could hardly refuse.

He kept his face neutral, showing no sign of reluctance. But once inside the kitchen, he obediently stayed in the corner, neither stepping forward nor vying for camera time, fully content to be ordered around.

Song Shuqi glanced at the available ingredients; there was a wide variety. He quickly decided on the menu: “Let’s make stir-fried tomato and eggs, shredded potatoes, sweet and sour cabbage, minced pork with eggplant, braised chicken with potatoes… and maybe a fish soup?”

The others nodded. None of them knew how to cook, so naturally, whatever the cook said went.

You Yinyin had cooked a few times before and had no problem with simple dishes like tomato and eggs, so she volunteered to take care of the stir-fried tomato and eggs and the shredded potatoes.

Before getting started, she pulled up a video by her favorite creator, “Daily Qiaoshi,” searched for the recipes for stir-fried tomato and eggs and shredded potatoes, and watched them with serious concentration.

As the familiar background music filled the kitchen, Qiao Yanli glanced over and once again locked eyes with that familiar white cat.

Qiao Yanli: “…”

“Didn’t you say you know how to cook?” he asked casually. “You still need to learn it again?”

Looking as tense as if facing a formidable enemy, You Yinyin replied gravely, “I’ve only made them twice. I’d better review first. It would be terrible if I messed up.”

“…”

“Brother Qiao, want to watch together?” You Yinyin eagerly tried to recommend her favorite creator.

Qiao Yanli politely declined.

“Song Shuqi~” On the other side of the kitchen, Chu Xinyue called out in a soft, sweet voice. “I’m scared of killing the fish. You do it.”

【My Qiyue CP^[1] is feeding us again!】

【Awesome! Looking at Songsong’s Weibo, he’s really great at cooking. I’m so jealous of Yueyue, actually getting to eat food cooked by Songsong!】

【This reminds me of the Little Flower Demon and the Immortal Lord in 《Ten Lifetimes of Immortal Fate》! Whenever the Little Flower Demon ran into trouble, she would act cute with the Immortal Lord, just like Qiyue! So sweet, so sweet!】

Song Shuqi gently agreed to Chu Xinyue’s request.

This was a golden opportunity to play up their ship. As he walked over, he recalled the lines spoken by the aloof Immortal Lord when the Little Flower Demon asked for help, intending to recite them to Chu Xinyue.

The fish in the sink possessed stubborn vitality. As if sensing its impending fate, it suddenly struck its tail with tremendous force, leaping straight out of the sink before plunging back into the water with a loud plop, sending up a glorious spray.

Splash!

Had Song Shuqi not dodged in time, it would have splashed right across his face.

But…

Realizing something, he froze in place, staring at the live fish in the sink and hesitating to make a move.

“Song Shuqi?” Chu Xinyue poked him in the back. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to kill the fish?”

Song Shuqi took a deep breath, rolled up his sleeves, and steeled himself to grab the fish.

The slippery texture of fish scales brushed against his fingertips. Gritting his teeth, he gripped it with all his strength and hauled it out of the sink. The moment it left the water, the fish thrashed violently, but fortunately, he held on tight enough that it couldn’t get away.

Holding the fish, he let out a sigh of relief. Conscious of the cameras filming him, he feigned composure as he set the fish on the cutting board, slowly reaching for the cleaver while asking Chu Xinyue, “Where did this fish come from?”

“Qiao Yanli and Teacher Tu brought it back together. Apparently, it was raised by one of the villagers.”

The villagers had been exceptionally welcoming; one who raised fish had netted a fat, hefty specimen right from his own pond. Compared to the expensive little fish the production crew had prepared, this one was both bigger and cheaper.

“Is that so?” Song Shuqi let out a dry laugh. “I thought you bought it, and I was wondering why it hadn’t been cleaned.”

Indeed.

Living in the big city, he usually bought groceries on delivery apps, where prompts always asked whether you needed the seafood slaughtered and cleaned. Even at a traditional market, Song Shuqi was a southerner, and southern wet markets would not only kill and gut the fish, but even slice it into fillets for you.

He had learned how to cook fish before coming on the show, but he had never learned how to kill one!

Still, since he had already stepped up, he could only bite the bullet and push through.

Gripping the cleaver, he hardened his heart and brought the blade down.

Right at that moment, as though knowing its end had arrived, the big fish thrashed with every ounce of strength in its body!

With a loud clatter, the cleaver bit into the cutting board. Whipping its tail, the big fish launched itself off the board. Startled by the sudden shock, Song Shuqi instinctively let out a short shriek: “Ah!”

Turning his head at the sound, Qiao Yanli looked over just in time to see a fish flying onto the floor.

The big fish flopped wildly across the floor tiles, making frantic, slapping sounds in its death throes.

Chu Xinyue made eye contact with him, looked down at the fish, and couldn’t help but turn to Song Shuqi, only to find that her CP partner had reflexively jumped aside, staring wide-eyed at the fish on the floor without moving a muscle, utterly paralyzed by shock.

Chu Xinyue: “…”

Looking over at Qiao Yanli not far away, who wore a puzzled look, she: “…”

Yet she didn’t dare grab it either, so she took the initiative to ask, “Qiao Yanli, do you know how to clean a fish?”

“I do,” Qiao Yanli replied quickly. “Let me.”

He retrieved the fish, deftly stunned it with the flat of the cleaver, sliced open its belly to remove the gallbladder, and swapped to a smaller knife to scrape away all the scales.

His movements were crisp and agile, as though he had done this thousands of times. The fish that had just been thrashing wildly was swiftly and neatly subdued in his hands, ready to be cooked. When someone did something with such effortless mastery, the scene captured on camera became genuinely satisfying to watch.

【Qiao Yanli’s movements are so practiced!】

【Speaking of which, that candid photo of Qiao Yanli from before was taken while he was grocery shopping, wasn’t it? If he knows how to buy groceries, does that mean he can cook too?】

【Judging by how practiced he looks, he’s probably pretty good at it?】

【Didn’t he just say he wasn’t very good at it, though?】

【Wait, wasn’t Song Shuqi supposed to know how to cook? How did he get scared like that by a single fish… ummm…】

【That’s pretty normal, isn’t it? I know how to cook, but I’ve never killed a fish either. It makes sense that Song Shuqi would be scared on his first try.】

After prepping the fish, Qiao Yanli wiped his hands clean. Seeing that Song Shuqi still looked somewhat dazed, he asked a bit uncertainly, “You do know how to cook it, right?”

“Y-Yeah. I just haven’t killed a fish before…” Song Shuqi collected himself and said, “…You seem very experienced?”

Qiao Yanli blinked, only now remembering that he wasn’t supposed to know how to cook.

Without batting an eye, he said, “I’ve killed them before.”

“I see.”

Song Shuqi didn’t overthink it. There were still plenty of dishes waiting for him to make, and being scared by a fish had been quite embarrassing, so he was anxious to redeem his image before the viewers.

Just in case, Qiao Yanli confirmed with him once more: “Can you really cook?”

“I can.” Assuming Qiao Yanli was simply worried, Song Shuqi gave a firm reassurance: “Just sit back and wait to eat. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Only then did Qiao Yanli return to his corner.

Yet because of that earlier accident, the livestream feed set aside a small inset window specifically for him, and the audience directed their spare attention onto him as well.

They saw him standing in the corner with a few potatoes. Then his blade rose and fell in a flash of glinting steel, his movements so fast that afterimages seemed to blur across the screen. A potato was transformed into a plate of fine shreds in the blink of an eye.

【Holy shit?!】

A massive wave of question marks and exclamation points flooded across the top of the screen.

Before anyone could even react, Qiao Yanli’s movements came to an abrupt halt.

Then he glanced left and right, as if afraid someone might have noticed. In a belated attempt to mend the fold after the sheep had bolted, he put down the kitchen knife, searched out a grater, picked up a potato, and dragged it across the blades at an agonizingly sluggish pace.

His motions were stiff, as if he were using one for the very first time. Not only was he slow, but he clumsily adjusted his grip several times before finding the right angle to apply force.

Qiao Yanli: That was close!

Slicing had come so naturally that he almost forgot he wasn’t supposed to know how to cook.

【……】

【????】

He gutted the fish, chopped the vegetables, and even cut the chicken into chunks while he was at it.

Viewers in the livestream watched with their own eyes as he stood in an unnoticed corner, nonchalantly feigning clumsiness. Even while pretending to be “flustered,” he rapidly prepped all the necessary ingredients, adding the salt You Yinyin had forgotten while cooking, and turning down the heat Song Shuqi had left on high. Lurking at the edge of the camera frame, he slipped quietly past everyone, keeping his deeds and renown completely hidden.

【……】

【His acting is so convincing. If I hadn’t been watching the whole time, I would’ve actually believed him.】

【Knowing how to cook isn’t something you can hide! Just look at his knife skills. He’s either a professional prep cook or an experienced chef!】

【I’m fucking dying of laughter, prep cook Qiao Yanli???】

While he was thriving at “slacking off^[2]” on this side, Song Shuqi unexpectedly crashed and burned on the other.

Song Shuqi had already finished three dishes: he had accidentally poured too much vinegar into the vinegar-glazed cabbage, added too much soy sauce to the chicken and potatoes, and burnt half the minced pork eggplant. A scorched smell drifted through the kitchen.

【Ummm, doesn’t Song Shuqi usually cook a lot?】

【Is he just not used to a new kitchen?】

【These dishes aren’t that hard, right? How did he manage to crash and burn? They might as well let Qiao Yanli take over. He looks way more skilled than Song Shuqi.】

【Forget Qiao Yanli, even You Yinyin’s food looks better than his, even if she did forget to add salt.】

Sweat beaded heavily on Song Shuqi’s forehead.

Strange. He had clearly practiced several times before leaving, and it had turned out well back then. How was he messing up so badly here?

No, calm down. He had to do this properly. He couldn’t mess up again.

Steeling himself, he tossed the fish into the wok and mentally recited the steps he had memorized: the fish had to be seared first so the soup would turn milky white…

Suddenly!

A tongue of flame surged up from the wok, quickly erupting into a blaze that leaped higher than a person. The scorching fire swallowed the fish, casting a ghastly pale glow over their faces.

Having never encountered such an accident before, Song Shuqi froze in shock. Chu Xinyue screamed, drawing the entire kitchen’s attention to the commotion.

“Fire! It’s on fire!”

“What?!” Hearing the noise from outside without knowing what was happening, Wan Yu and the others shouted anxiously, “Wait, we’ll go find a fire extinguisher!”

Right then, a pot lid dropped from above, firmly smothering the surging flames and trapping them inside the wok.

Deprived of oxygen, the fire gradually dwindled until it died out completely, leaving behind nothing but a large, charred fish.

Tu Sheng rushed in clutching a fire extinguisher. “Where’s the fire?!”

Only to find everyone staring blankly at the stove.

Tu Sheng was baffled. “Xiao Qiao? Xiao Song? What happened?”

Qiao Yanli was a bit speechless as well.

Covering the pan when it caught fire was basic cooking sense, yet Song Shuqi had just stood there completely frozen, clearly scared out of his wits.

He couldn’t help asking a second time, “Do you really know how to cook?”

As a food blogger who strove for perfection in everything he did, he could barely stand to watch any longer.

【Qiao Yanli: Impossible to carry, just impossible to carry.】

【Qiao Yanli: You might as well just step aside and let me do it.】